Holiday Traditions Don’t Have to be Big to be Memorable
Holiday traditions don’t have to be big to be memorable. The moments kids carry into adulthood are usually small: frozen yogurt for dinner, a note on the mirror, the one kind of cookie you make every December. What kids (and moms) really want are ordinary moments together.
We all want to make lasting memories with our kids, especially at this time of year. We want our kids to grow up remembering freshly baked cookies, the warmth of a fire, maybe the sound of our family’s favorite Christmas carol.
Christmas is naturally a time for memory-making. It also invites us to slow down, savor the season, and wait in joyful hope for the birth of our Lord.
But often our plans for memory-making get in the way of the slowing down and savoring part. We end up with a to-do list as long as the trek from Nazareth to Bethlehem.
What if memory-making doesn’t have to be so complicated? What if we prioritized peace and rest over glitter and expense? What if the holiday traditions we hold don’t have to be big and flashy to stay with our kids as they grow and leave our homes?
What Kids (and Moms) Want is Time Together
It’s easy to assume that when things are bigger and flashier, they’re more meaningful.
It reminds me of when my own kids were little. Do you know what my toddlers’ favorite toys always were? The car keys. The Tupperware lids in the kitchen. My sunglasses. But even more than that, they just wanted me.
We’ve all been there. We buy something big or expensive or flashy, and what our kids actually want is the box it came in. What they want is time with us in ordinary, everyday moments. That’s what we’re all after, really. We’re all after real connection.
The Walrus and the Ant: A Lesson in the Magic of Small Things
When my older kids were younger, I took them to the zoo in Tacoma, Washington. There was a walrus exhibit that I was so excited to show my kids. The walrus would swim to the back of the exhibit out of view. Then, it would come around to the front, and glide right past the glass where we could see it.
We stood by the glass, and I said, “Wait for it, wait for it…” I could see the water start to ripple. I knew the walrus was coming around the corner.
Then I heard Allison’s little voice (she must have been six or seven at the time) say, “Mommy, look!” The walrus burst into view, and I looked down to watch my daughter take in this amazing moment, this giant creature right in front of us.
But she wasn’t watching the walrus. She was on her hands and knees, staring at ants on the sidewalk. Specifically, she was staring at an ant carrying a piece of food larger than it was.
That was a wake-up moment for me! The bigger, flashier thing is not always the magical thing.
The truth is that memories are often made from the smallest moments and the quietest connections. It’s in these little moments that we’re invited to wonder and revel in the beauty of life together. When we create space for those kinds of moments, we keep the most important things first in our lives.
Of course, that’s often easier said than done, and there’s no one right or wrong way to make these memories. But to give you some ideas for simpler memory-making, I asked a few of our team members here at Read-Aloud Revival to share some of their favorite memories of growing up and of raising their own kids.
Simple Family Memories from the Read-Aloud Revival Team
Mom and Dad Joined in on the Fun
Leilani Curtis, our Premium coordinator, is the oldest of four kids. One Easter stands out in her mind:
“For an annual Easter egg hunt (and I don’t think we did this every year) we broke up into teams. My two youngest sisters were one team, my brother and I were another, and my parents were the last team. For each team, the other four would go out and hide a bunch of Easter eggs, and then those two had to race each other to find them.
“My favorite part was watching my parents. They did their egg hunt last, and I just remember them racing around the yard to beat each other, and lots of laughing, and seeing them in a new kind of dynamic. I think I was in high school when it happened, so it was just fun to play with my family and to see my parents play like that.”
There are two things I love about this.
First, we can put so much pressure on ourselves to do it all, and to do it all every single year. The thing is, we never know what will stand out to our kids or what will stay with them. We may only do something once, like this Easter egg hunt, and it will be a joy for them to look back on for years.
Second, a key part of this memory is that Leilani’s parents joined in on the fun. More often than not, our kids want to be with us. Simply participating in things with our kids brings its own joy and can etch an experience into their memories.
The Joy of the Unexpected
Erica Brasfield, my assistant here at RAR, remembers coming home from school, going to change into comfy clothes, and finding a brand-new outfit in her closet.
“It matched perfectly: a pretty floral top, a really nice pink crinkle skirt, 2000s fashion. And it was just there. No announcement, no nothing. I would always secretly go back in my closet thinking there’d be another outfit in there. Just the fact that it came unannounced, just because she thought of me… I think about that all the time, and I’m going to do it for my children.”
Her mom did something similar one Christmas. After all the presents were opened, Erica and her sister spotted a basketball sitting out where it didn’t belong. They took it back to the garage to put it away, and found a brand-new basketball hoop waiting for them.
“They weren’t super crazy big things, but they were just so meaningful. Even the things she would plan out and announce never stuck out quite like these few things did. She did it without wanting recognition for it. So that’s something I’m going to take into my motherhood for sure: the just-because, random, unannounced things.”
Ah, the element of surprise. We underestimate this so much as mothers. Sometimes the most thoughtful gifts (or memorable moments) aren’t tied to a birthday or a holiday at all. They come out of nowhere, because someone thought of you and wanted you to feel seen.
One of my oldest girls’ favorite memories (they’re both adults now) is the day I was too tired to make dinner, so we went out for frozen yogurt for dinner. Like a responsible mother. I wasn’t doing anything big or flashy. I wanted chocolate frozen yogurt, and I was too tired to cook. I wasn’t trying to make a memory that stuck with them, but that’s exactly what happened.
Making it a surprise turns a fairly ordinary choice into a delightful memory. And you’ll enjoy it too, because we all need a break from the regular rhythms and routines of life sometimes.
Kids Remember When They Feel Seen
Another thing that stands out to me in Erica’s story is how seen she was by her mom. When we spend time with our kids and get to know their interests and what lights them up, we can find new and little ways to love them.
Our community manager, Kelsey Murphy, shares a similar memory of being seen by her dad.
“When I was very young, my dad was in the military and he was deployed overseas. Back then there wasn’t FaceTime or email, so we wrote letters back and forth. I would draw pictures for him, stacks and stacks of pictures.
“After my dad returned home, we had an opportunity to visit the aircraft carrier he had been living on. I remember walking into his room and seeing that the walls were just covered in my drawings. These were mostly scribbles, but they were everywhere. It’s the first time I remember feeling really proud of something I did, and feeling like what I accomplished mattered. It mattered so much that my dad wanted to display it.”
Now, as a mom herself, Kelsey thinks about how she can honor her own kids: displaying their artwork, taking the time to ask questions about something that’s meaningful to them, and spending one-on-one time with them when she has the opportunity.
We want to be our kids’ biggest cheerleaders, and it can be as simple as putting their artwork up on the walls. As parents, we have such a beautiful opportunity to speak life into our children and pour into them, not just through our words, but through simple actions too.
What We Eat We Remember
One of the best tools for making memories with your kids, hands down, is food.
We’re already feeding our people so many times every day. It’s already carved into our schedules. So food can be an excellent canvas for memory-making.
Donuts, Peppermint Bark, and Christmas Lights
Pam Barnhill, our director of operations, asked her son what he remembered most from his childhood. Believe it or not, every answer revolved around food.
“He mentioned that we would go get donuts every year on the first day back to school. I was never one of those moms who did a lot of crafty things. I didn’t make the big signs or take their pictures or all of that stuff. So going to get donuts on the first day of school was a big one.
“Then around the holidays, he said, ‘Mom, you made all of those sweets.’ And I’m sitting here going, ‘I did?’ He said, ‘Yeah, you made the peppermint bark, and we made those peanut butter cookies with the Hershey’s Kisses in them, and we made…’ And he stopped and thought for a while, and I said, ‘I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing we made every year.’ Even though I only make a couple of things, they remember it as something way bigger than what I actually did.”
Their other big tradition was going to look at Christmas lights—also with food. Because it’s warm where they live, even at Christmas, they’d skip the hot chocolate and get peppermint chocolate chip milkshakes instead, then drive around looking at lights and playing Christmas music.
Everybody needs to eat, and (almost) everybody loves dessert. Kiss cookies aren’t difficult to make. Peppermint bark isn’t really baking—it’s assembling. What Pam’s son remembers all these years later is simply that his mom made time for them.
It’s Not Where You Are, It’s Who You’re With
Gretchen Louise, our business and website manager, grew up with holiday traditions that happened almost without fail: a sunrise service, a big family meal, and an egg hunt with cousins at Easter; three-generation photos by the irises on Mother’s Day; and Christmas at her grandparents’ ranch, no matter the weather.
“On Christmas Eve, my aunt would make chili and cornbread, and then we went caroling to the neighbors. This is out in the middle of nowhere, so we had to drive to all the neighbors. Grandma always had one present for each of us to open on Christmas Eve, often matching pajamas. The cousins planned a play each year, something as simple as a nativity scene or as complicated as A Christmas Carol.”
As a mom, Gretchen sometimes felt bad that her own children didn’t grow up with that same consistency, since her family alternates which holidays they spend with out-of-state relatives. But when she asked her kids about their favorite holiday memories, they named simple things. Not a location, but a moment.
“Finding a Christmas tree in the national forest. The year we had baby kittens at Christmas who played in the wrapping paper, and that year we decorated the tree with unbreakable ornaments. They always remember listening to our favorite rendition of the Messiah every year, starting around Thanksgiving, and the year we actually got to attend a live performance … So it wasn’t about where we were, but who we were with and what we were doing.”
We can underestimate how meaningful and powerful just being with one another is, even when it isn’t the same every year, and even when it isn’t perfect or what we imagined it would be. It isn’t the complicated food (although sharing a meal together can be so meaningful). It’s being with one another that matters most, and we can all do that in one way or another, during the holidays and all the time.
Small Daily Rhythms Make Lasting Memories
Last but certainly not least, Avery Shelburne, our merchandising manager, shared memories that capture the heart of everything we’ve been talking about. And while her parents were phenomenal gift givers, Avery offered this morning memory as an example of the small ways her mom included her in the rhythm of the day:
A Tiny Cup of Coffee at the Kitchen Table
“When I was little bitty, probably five or six years old, I would sneak downstairs, and my mom would be in the kitchen doing her Bible study with her cup of coffee at the kitchen table. Only now as a mom myself do I realize what an interruption that probably was, and how hard it was for her not to shoo me back off to bed. But she didn’t. She pulled up a chair at the table, and she would make me a tiny cup of coffee, mostly cream and sugar.
“She would tell me about what she was reading. She would invite me in, and she would talk to me like I belonged there. I think it encouraged me to look at adult faith as something you look forward to, something worth nurturing and worth tending to. When I think about my mom as a person and as a parent, the most visceral memories I have are those moments at the kitchen table with her.”
Ten-Minute Read-Alouds: Quick And Meaningful
Avery is also passionate about a read-aloud rhythm I talk about often: three times a week, for ten minutes.
“That rhythm has been a lifesaver for us as our kids have gotten older. Keeping that read-aloud rhythm, even with teens and big kids, has been really sustainable for us. Three times a week, ten minutes before bed, it lets us enjoy quite a few books over a year. It adds up to quite a bit of time, but it doesn’t feel oppressive. It doesn’t feel like it’s too much. It feels right.
“Those little tiny family rhythms that we hope are sowing seeds of memory, those are the most important things. It doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful and special, and I have to remind myself of that too.”
It Doesn’t Have to Be Big to Be Memorable
These childhood memories are all varied and unique, but each highlights how the small things are often the memories that stick with us:
- Donuts on the first day of school
- Milkshakes (or hot chocolate) and a drive to see Christmas lights
- One or two signature holiday treats, made together
- One Christmas Eve present, like matching pajamas
- A simple nativity play with siblings or cousins
- The same piece of Christmas music every year
- Ice cream for dinner
- A surprise love note on a bathroom mirror or lunchbox napkin
- Kids’ artwork displayed on the walls
- Ten-minute read-alouds, three times a week
The best part is that you already have everything you need to build meaningful, lasting relationships with your kids this holiday season. No power strips or glitter balls needed.
So wherever this finds you today, I hope you’re encouraged to go make memories with your kids in simple, small ways. Not because it’s one more box on your to-do list, but because relationships are what matter most. And you were made for this.
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Books and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
- See more of our Christmas Resources
- Join us for Christmas School!
Dive deeper with these related episodes:
Sarah Mackenzie (00:00):
We all want to make lasting memories with our kids, especially at this time of year, right? We want our kids to grow up remembering freshly baked cookies, the warmth of a fire, maybe the sound of your family's favorite Christmas carol. Christmas is naturally a time for memory making. It also invites us to slow down and savor the season and wait in joyful hope for the birth of our Lord. But often our plans for memory making get in the way of the slowing down and the savoring part. We end up with a to-do list as long as the trek from Nazareth to Bethlehem.
(00:40):
Hello, hello. Welcome to the Read Aloud Revival Podcast. This is the show where we help you make reading a way of life. I'm Sarah Mackenzie. I'm your host and I'm the chief book recommender here at Read Aloud Revival. What if memory making doesn't have to be so complicated? What if these traditions that we hold don't have to be big? They don't have to be big and flashy to stay with our kids as they grow and leave our homes. It's easy to assume that when things are bigger, flashier, they're more meaningful.
(01:15):
It reminds me actually of when my own kids were little. Do you know what my toddler's favorite toys always were? The car keys, or the Tupperware lids in the kitchen, or my sunglasses. But even more than that, they actually just wanted me. I think we've all been there. We've bought something big or expensive or flashy and our kids, what they actually want is the box that it came in. What they want is time with us in ordinary everyday moments. That's what we're all after actually, our kids and ourselves as well. We're all after those ordinary everyday moments. We're all after real connection.
(01:55):
When my older kids were younger, I took them to the zoo in Tacoma, Washington and there is a, I don't know if they still have it, but there was a walrus exhibit there that was so cool. You'd come up to the glass and the walrus had kind of a larger enclosure and part of the enclosure was hidden from view, but the walrus would swim to the back and then come around to the front and then go right by the glass where we could see them.
(02:21):
So I have my three older kids at the time at the zoo, and I'm so excited to show them. I've seen the walrus before. It's amazing. I can't wait for them to see it. And so we're standing by the glass, and I'm like, "Wait for it, wait for it." I can see the water start to ripple. I know it's coming around the corner and I'm like, "Wait for it."
(02:38):
And Allison, who must have been, I don't even know, six or seven, something like that at the time, all of a sudden I hear her little voice say, "Mommy, look." And I look to see this walrus burst into view. And I look down at my daughter to see her observe this same amazing moment of this giant creature right in front of us. And she is on her hands and knees staring at ants on the sidewalk. She was actually staring at an ant that was carrying a piece of food larger than it was.
(03:11):
And it was one of those moments where I was like, wow, it's the ordinary everyday stuff that is still just magic. It's the things that they remember and they notice and they love. It was a moment for me to remember that the bigger, flashier thing is not always the thing. It's not always the magical thing to look at in the moment. The truth is memories are often made from the smallest moments and the quietest connections. And it's in these little moments where we were really invited to wonder and revel in the beauty of life together.
(03:47):
When we create space for those kind of moments, we're able to keep the most important things first and foremost in our lives. Of course, this is often easier said than done, and there's no one right or wrong way to make these memories. The whole point is simply to come and be together. So today on the show, Audrey and I asked a few of our team members here at Read Aloud Revival to share some of their favorite memories of growing up and raising their kids. Now first up is our premium coordinator, Leilani Curtis.
Leilani Curtis (04:23):
One memory that came up right away, it had to do with around Easter time. And I'm the oldest of four kids, so there's six of us total in our family. And for an annual Easter egg hunt, and I don't think we did this every year, I have one specific year that stands out in my mind, so I don't even know if it was repeated. But we broke up into teams and we had my two youngest sisters as one team, my brother and I, the older two, were on another team, and then my parents comprised the last team.
(04:49):
And so for each team, the other four would go out and hide a bunch of Easter eggs. And then that team, I say team, those individuals had to then compete against each other and race around to find the eggs. And my favorite part of that memory was watching my parents. They did it last. They did their egg hunt last. They came out and just watching them race around the yard to beat each other on collecting the eggs. And I just remember lots of laughing and just seeing them in a very new kind of dynamic, a new way. It was a lot of fun to watch them play. That was a really special memory for me.
Audrey Menck (05:24):
Something that you said that I just love is that you didn't even know if that was even something that you did every year. There's something so beautiful about even just doing something once or twice that can really stick in our memories. And so it doesn't have to be something that we do year after year from the beginning of when kids are really little all the way through their growing up, but it can be something that grows and develops and also just maybe happens every once in a while.
Leilani Curtis (05:46):
Yeah, exactly. I think it was just really special. I think I was in high school when it happened even, and so it was just fun to play with my family and to see my parents play like that. Yeah, it really stuck out to me.
Audrey Menck (05:56):
So sweet.
Sarah Mackenzie (05:58):
Okay. There are two things I just love about this. First, I love that Leilani's memory is one that she doesn't even know if it was something that happened more than once. I think we can put so much pressure on ourselves as mothers to do it all, to do it all every single year like you did it once, you've got to do it every year if it's a tradition, right? We never know though what is going to stand out to our kids, what will stay with them. We may only do something once like this Easter egg hunt, and it will be so joyful for them to reflect on in the future.
(06:32):
And secondly, the other thing I love about what Leilani said is that such a key part of this memory was that Leilani's parents joined in on all the fun. More often than not, our kids want to be with us. We may tend to complicate the memory or think it would be better if we can do it all and do it all perfectly, but really the joy that simply participating in things with our kids can bring is just fun. Now let's hear from my assistant here at Read Aloud Revival, Erica Brasfield.
Erica Brasfield (07:03):
There was one day I was coming home from school and we got home. I was getting changed into my comfy clothes, and I look in my closet and there's a brand new outfit. And it's like my mom had gone to the stores, just picked out this outfit, matched perfectly. It was like a pretty floral top, a really nice pink crinkle skirt, like 2000s fashion. And it was just there and no announcement, no nothing. And that stood out to me. I thought about that so often, and I would always kind of secretly go back in my closet thinking that there'd be another outfit in there. But just the fact that it just came unannounced just almost as if just because she thought of me, because she thought it would look good on me. I think about that all the time and I'm thinking I'm going to do it for my children because it resonated so heavily with me.
(07:53):
But then she also did something similar one Christmas. We had finished opening presents. You kind of secretly hope you'll find something else under all the chaos of the presents. And me and my sister saw this basketball kind of just sitting out, and we were so confused because it was supposed to be in the garage. We're supposed to put those things away. So we take it back to the garage, and the garage door was open and there was a basketball goal, brand new. Because we though we were done opening presents. We weren't expecting anything else.
(08:22):
So those two things were just always things that I though back on and I'm like, oh, I really want to do that because my mom, she put so much thought into it and she didn't have to announce it. It was just there. And they weren't super crazy big things, but they were just so meaningful, and they just made such a difference in our childhood.
Audrey Menck (08:40):
I love that, just the joy of the unexpected, especially with that outfit, and just catching you on the unawares when you're not expecting something to happen, just to be thought of and to be seen and to just have a little love note. And it can be so simple. It could be a little love letter, it could be an outfit, it could be just something small that made you think of someone. I think that's always been true for me. The most thoughtful gifts that I've received from people are always the ones that maybe aren't on your birthday or aren't necessarily associated with a holiday, but they just come out of nowhere because they thought of you and they saw something that reminded them of you and it's just such a beautiful thing to be seen like that. So I love that your mom did that for you.
Erica Brasfield (09:19):
Yeah. No, I mean even the things that she would plan out and announce and tell us never stuck out quite like these few things did. And she did it without wanting recognition for it. She would just do it and just do it just because. And so that's something that I'm going to take into my motherhood for sure is the just because or random and unannounced things.
Audrey Menck (09:40):
So wonderful.
Sarah Mackenzie (09:43):
Ah, the element of surprise. We underestimate this so much as mothers. One of my girls' favorite memories, my oldest girls who are both adults now, one of their favorite memories is the day that I was too tired to make dinner, and so we went out for frozen yogurt for dinner, like a responsible mother. The funny thing is I wasn't doing anything big or flashy. I wanted chocolate frozen yogurt and I was too tired to make dinner, so I took my kids there for dinner.
(10:12):
Now, whether you surprise your kids with mini golf or ice cream for dinner, or whatever, the delight will be unmatched when it's a surprise, I promise. And you'll enjoy it too because we all need a break from the regular rhythms and routines of life sometimes.
(10:29):
Another thing that stands out to me from what Erica said is how Erica herself was seen by her mom. When we spend time with our kids, when we get to know their interests and what lights them up, we can find new and little ways to love them. Our community manager, Kelsey Murphy, shares a similar memory of being seen by her dad. Let's listen in.
Kelsey Murphy (10:52):
So when I was very young, my dad was in the military and he was deployed overseas. And back then there wasn't FaceTime or email, and so we wrote letters back and forth. And my mom was so diligent to send him these care packages with letters. And I would draw pictures for him, like stacks and stacks of pictures.
(11:15):
And after my dad returned home, we actually had an opportunity to go visit the aircraft carrier that he had been living on. And I remember walking into his room, and seeing that the walls were just covered in my drawings. He had taped them all over the walls. And I mean these were mostly scribbles. But they were everywhere.
(11:38):
And I remember this so vividly because it's the first time that I remember feeling really proud of something that I did, and feeling like what I accomplished mattered. It mattered so much that my dad wanted to display it. And so I'm so grateful to my mom for encouraging me to make so many pictures. And then I'm also just I'm grateful to my dad for displaying them so lovingly. It was really special to me.
(12:05):
And so now as a mom with my own kids, it makes me think about how can I honor my kids, whether that's displaying their artwork in my home, or just taking the time to have a conversation with them and ask questions about something that's meaningful to them, spending time with them one-on-one when I have that opportunity and things like that.
Audrey Menck (12:27):
I love that. And what I love so much about this story is that he saw you, right? He saw your work. And even though you were far apart, there was something that really stood out to you when you got to walk into his room and see how meaningful these scribbles, these pictures that you had made that you were probably so proud of, and getting to make them from so far away. And to see that connection that was made all the way across all the miles that were keeping the two of you apart, just how sweet it was to be seen. And I love how you're saying that that informs your own motherhood too, just getting to see your own kids and encounter them in their own scribbles and their own little efforts to become who they are, which is so beautiful.
Kelsey Murphy (13:12):
Yes, absolutely. Yes. I definitely, I felt so seen. You said it perfectly. And yeah, I want to give that to my kids as well.
Audrey Menck (13:20):
Wonderful.
Sarah Mackenzie (13:22):
Isn't that so precious? What a sweet memory. We want to be our kids' biggest cheerleaders. And it can be as simple as putting up their artwork on the walls. We as parents have such a beautiful opportunity to speak such life into our children, to pour into them, and we can do that, not just through our words, but through our actions too.
(13:47):
Okay. So so far we've talked about how making memories can be far simpler than we realize, that we don't need to do the exact same things every year for traditions to stick with our kids, that we can use the element of surprise to aid our efforts, and that some of the most powerful memories can be when we see and encourage our kids in who they are.
(14:10):
Now, one of the best tools for making memories with your kids, hands down, is food. Yes, that's right. Food. Feels too easy, right? But here's the thing, we're already feeding our people so many times every day. It is already carved into our schedule. You're already doing it today. I know you are. Why not utilize something we're already doing to make a memory? Let's listen to Pam Barnhill, our director of operations, and Gretchen Louise, our business and website manager, share about their favorite memories surrounding food.
Pam Barnhill (14:48):
I actually asked my son today, he was the only one who was home, and I was like, "What were the most memorable memories from your childhood? What were the things that you really remember most?" And they all revolved around food, believe it or not.
Audrey Menck (15:02):
I love it.
Pam Barnhill (15:03):
Yeah. Yeah. So he definitely mentioned the fact that we would go get donuts every year on the first day back to school. I was never one of those moms who did a lot of crafty things or anything like that, so I didn't make the big signs or take their pictures or all of that stuff. So definitely going to get donuts on the first day of school was a big one.
(15:21):
And then around the holidays, he was kind of sitting there scratching his head. He's like, "Mom, you made all of those sweets." And I'm just sitting here going, "I did?" He was like, "Yeah, you made the peppermint bark and we made those Kiss cookies with the Hershey's Kisses in them, the peanut butter ones, and we made..." And he kind of stopped and stood there and though for a while, and I'm like, "I'm pretty sure that's the only thing that we made every year." So definitely, even though you only make a couple of things, they remember it as something way bigger-
Audrey Menck (15:56):
Totally.
Pam Barnhill (15:56):
... than what you actually did. Yeah. And then our other big tradition was going to look at Christmas lights, also food, because we would get peppermint chocolate chip milkshakes, because it's kind of warm down here, even at Christmas. And so instead of hot chocolate, we would get those and we would drive around and look at Christmas lights together and play Christmas music. So those are kind of our things.
Audrey Menck (16:20):
That's so awesome. I think it's just so great that it's food related. Everybody needs to eat. Everybody loves dessert. It doesn't have to be complicated. I've made those little Hershey Kiss cookies before. They're not too difficult to make. You can even get peppermint bark from the store or you can melt chocolate together at home. I love that these things are just so simple and that that was what mattered most, was getting to connect with your kids. And then that's what he remembers all these years later is just, I remember you making time for us. And even in these simple ways, like a donut before the first day of school that of course I think too, maybe for boys especially, the food is something that really stands out.
Pam Barnhill (17:00):
Yeah, I was going to say maybe if I had asked Olivia, my daughter, maybe the answers would've been slightly different than just the food. But for the boys who are still kind of close to those teenage years, I think the food is what they remember most for sure.
Audrey Menck (17:17):
Absolutely. So great.
Gretchen Louise (17:22):
Growing up, our holidays followed same traditions almost without fail. Easter was a sunrise service followed by a big family meal and egg hunt with my cousins. And then Grandma Mary shared with us her resurrection eggs. On Mother's Day, my maternal grandparents were always visiting and we took three generation photos by the irises that were blooming in May. Father's Day was often a camp out with extended family. And then Thanksgiving was a special church service followed by a huge meal at my grandparents' ranch. And no matter what the weather, Daddy always got us back to my grandparents' ranch at Christmastime.
(17:59):
On Christmas Eve, my aunt would make chili and cornbread, and then we went caroling to the neighbors. And this is out in the middle of nowhere, so we had to drive to all the neighbors. Grandma Jessica always had one present for each of us to open on Christmas Eve, often matching pajamas. We cousins planned a play each year, something as simple as a nativity scene or as complicated as the Christmas Carol, often inspired by whatever one of our favorite radio programs was featuring that year. We rearranged so much of Grandma's house to do this, but the adults always prioritized watching and even filming our performances. Then we would ring in the new year with cousins and friends playing games and singing around the piano until midnight drew close, and then we'd run outside and yell and cheer.
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So when I think back on my memories growing up, sometimes I felt bad that my children grew up without that consistency since we'd alternate which holidays we spent with out-of-state family. But when I asked them about some of their favorite holiday memories, it was the simple things they mentioned, not necessarily a location, but a moment. Finding a Christmas tree in the national forest, the year we had baby kittens at Christmas who played in the wrapping paper and delighted in the tree that that year we had decorated with unbreakable ornaments. They always remember listening to our favorite rendition of the Messiah every year. About Thanksgiving is when it starts playing. And then there was the year we actually got to attend a live performance.
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My youngest even remembers me rocking her to sleep in front of the Christmas tree one year. I do not remember this. Yes, they remember stockings at Grandpa and Grandma's house. But it was the secretive stuffing that happened the night before that they specifically mentioned. So it wasn't about where we were, but who we were with and what we were doing.
Audrey Menck (19:55):
I love that. Yeah, I think the common theme throughout your own kids' memories and your kids' memories is really just being with one another, being together, coming together with aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins. And even when it can't happen every year in the same way, those things, they still stay with us. Things can happen just once or twice.
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I remember as a kid talking to my mom about how we would take the ferry over to Friday Harbor off of the west coast of Washington. There's a ferry you can hop on and you can go over to an island. And I remember doing this dozens of times with our grandparents. And when I said this to my mom, she goes, "We did that, I think, twice." I was so taken aback. I was like, "Really? This is such a vivid memory of playing cards and being with my grandparents on this boat is so special." And I think we can underestimate how meaningful and how powerful just being with one another is, even when it's not the same every year and not perfect or isn't what we imagine it to be.
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And so I love that at the heart of all these memories is really just coming together. And it isn't the complicated food, although just sharing a meal together can be so meaningful. It's just the being with one another that matters most, and we can all do that in one way or another during the holidays and all the time.
Gretchen Louise (21:10):
Oh, I must say one of my favorite New Year's memories has always been the banana bungalosh that my aunt and mom would make. It's this recipe with carbonated 7-Up or Sprite and pineapple juice and mashed bananas that you freeze. And then you thaw a little bit, and pour the Sprite or 7-Up over, and it's, of course, very, very sweet, but this very special taste that's associated with New Year's every year.
Audrey Menck (21:36):
I love that. That's so fabulous. And what a great name. Bungalosh?
Gretchen Louise (21:41):
Yes. I think it was my uncle who named it, yes, banana bungalosh.
Audrey Menck (21:45):
Named it. Amazing. Everyone go try that this New Year's.
Gretchen Louise (21:50):
Yes.
Sarah Mackenzie (21:53):
So good. Okay. Last but certainly not least, Avery Shelburne is going to share with us some of her favorite memories that really capture the heart of what we've been talking about today.
Avery Shelburne (22:05):
When I think of my parents, my parents were the most fun, truly. They were spontaneous. And my parents were fantastic gift givers. And not in a way where they would give great, huge, enormous presents. Even if it was something really small, the way they gave a gift was so incredibly special.
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But when I think about the most significant memories around my parents, I think about my mom when I was, I mean, little bitty, probably five or six years old, I would sneak downstairs, and she would be in the kitchen doing her Bible study with her cup of coffee at the kitchen table. And only now as a mom myself do I realize what an interruption that probably was and how hard it was for her not to shoo me back off to bed. But she didn't. She pulled up a chair at the table, and she would make me a tiny cup of coffee, mostly like cream and sugar, although I do think I can probably safely blame my caffeine addiction on her.
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But she would pull up a chair at the table, and she would tell me about what she was reading, and she would invite me in, and she would talk to me like I belonged there. And I think it encouraged me to look at adult faith as something that was something you look forward to and something that was worth nurturing and something worth tending to. And so honestly, when I think about my mom as a person and as a parent, those are the most visceral memories that I have are those moments at the kitchen table with her. Just such incredible poignant memories for me.
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And for my own boys, I have two beautiful bright red-haired, spirited, incredible boys. I think my husband and I, we really try to focus in on what are the daily rhythms that are sewing together the roots of our family. One of the things we try to do every day is before we put them to bed at night, we say, "I love you and I like you. God loves you and he likes you. And you can rest in your belovedness." Of course, we want our kids to feel loved, but we also want them to feel liked. We want them to feel the affection from us and from God, so that's a huge family rhythm of ours.
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And then once a week, I put a little post-it on the boys' mirrors. And sometimes it's an inside joke or something silly that I noticed about them that week. Or sometimes it's something really serious and just something I'm praying over them, or a reminder that they belong and they are beloved and they are delightful. And that we see them and we enjoy them. A lot of times I'll just say, "I love being your mom." But I love to put that post-it on there near every Monday morning. Probably the easiest rhythm to keep.
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I'm so passionate about Sarah's three times a week for 10 minutes reading aloud. That rhythm has been a lifesaver for us as our kids have gotten older, and we have big kids now. And keeping that read aloud rhythm, even with teens and big kids, that has been really sustainable for us. Three times a week, 10 minutes before bed, it lets us really enjoy quite a few books over a year. It adds up to quite a bit of time. But it doesn't feel oppressive. It doesn't feel like it's too much. It feels right.
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And so I think just those little tiny family rhythms that we hope are kind of sowing those seeds of memory with them, those are the most important things. It doesn't have to be big to be meaningful and special, and I have to remind myself of that too. I really do. But I'm praying that those are the things that stick.
Audrey Menck (25:59):
I just love this idea of weaving them into everyday life, these little things. It's easy to get lost in the big things, the flashy things, things that feel grand. But I remember when I would go to co-op on Wednesdays, my mom would often write a little love note on my napkin in my lunchbox. And it was just the best thing to open up to. I remember her doing that. She probably didn't do it every single time, but it really sticks in my mind. Yeah, sometimes small, simple is really what speaks to us the most, so that's really beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Avery Shelburne (26:31):
Yeah, sure.
Sarah Mackenzie (26:35):
Don't you love how much these memories varied? Each one of our team members were struck by different things in their childhoods. But the one thing that threads through all of them is that these things we do with our kids, the childhood we're making for them, it doesn't have to be big to be memorable. It's almost like Jesus knew what he was doing when he gave you your children. Oh, that's right, because he did know exactly what he was up to.
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Your family with all the joys and trials, all of the unexpected challenges and gifts and life circumstances, it's exactly how he knew it would be. He is not surprised by your weaknesses or by your weariness. I'm going to say that again. He is not surprised by your weaknesses or your weariness. He planned for it all, and his grace is sufficient, I promise.
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I am reminded of C.S. Lewis's words in his book, The Four Loves. He writes, "For a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, 'You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,' can truly say to every group of Christian friends, 'You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.' Friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others."
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Our families have been orchestrated by a good and generous God who longs to reveal himself through each and every one of us. And the best news is that you already have everything you need to make these meaningful and lasting relationships with your kids. So wherever this episode finds you today, I hope you're encouraged to go and make memories with your kids, simple, small ways, simple, small memories, keeping them simple and small so they're not flashy and big this holiday season. Not because it's one more box on your to-do list, but because relationships are what matter most, and you were made for this. Now let's go hear from Read Aloud Revival kids about books they're loving lately.
Adeline (29:14):
Hi, I'm Adeline. I'm 10 years old and I live in Texas. The book I recommend is The Door Within by Wayne Thomas Batson. I recommend this book because the author did a very good job adding the history of the world into the book, and there is a parallel world to ours with our twins in it that we can never meet, and you can go to that world only once. Bye.
Felicity (29:38):
Hi, my name is Felicity and I'm 12 years old and I live in Saskatchewan, Canada, and my favorite book series is The Wingfeather Saga because it has so many interesting and unique characters and animals.
Charlotte (29:53):
I am Charlotte. I live in Baltimore, Ohio. I am 10 years old. My favorite book is The Vanderbeekers, all of them. I love them because they have a lot of adventures, funny, and I like their names.
Speaker 12 (30:15):
What is your name?
Sela (30:15):
Sela.
Speaker 12 (30:15):
And how old are you, Sela?
Sela (30:15):
Four.
Speaker 12 (30:15):
What is your favorite book?
Sela (30:22):
Betty Bunny Loves Chocolate Cake.
Speaker 12 (30:28):
Why do you like the book Betty Bunny Loves Chocolate Cake?
Sela (30:28):
Because she puts it in her socks.
Speaker 12 (30:30):
That's pretty silly, isn't it?
Vivian (30:37):
Hi, I'm Vivian. I'm six. I live in Texas. The book I recommend is Norman Didn't Do It, Yes He Did because it's funny.
Daniel Hogash (30:56):
I'm Daniel Hogash. I came from Red Deer, Alberta. And my favorite book is Inky's Amazing Escape. A real octopus actually squeezed through a drain, a real drain. I'm four and a half.
Aussie (31:04):
Hi, I'm Aussie and I live in Florida, Canada, Red Deer. And I'm three. A Paintbrush for Joni.
Speaker 17 (31:23):
And what do you love about A Paintbrush for Joni?
Aussie (31:24):
Because [inaudible 00:31:27] all have serious [inaudible 00:31:29].
Sarah Mackenzie (31:33):
Thank you so very much, kids. Show notes for this episode are at readaloudrevival.com/290. I'll be back in two weeks with another episode. But in the meantime, you know what to do. Go make small, simple memories with your kids with your books.
