Best of RAR: Simple Habits for Nurturing Lifelong Readers

Sarah Mackenzie (00:00):

We all want our kids to be readers, not just kids who can read, kids who actually do read, who grow up and choose books for themselves and read them because they want to. But there's this curious thing we sometimes do, and by we, I mean those of us who care a lot about raising readers, right? We tend to treat our children's reading lives almost exactly opposite from the way that adult readers actually read. We choose all their books, we tell them how long to read for. We ask them questions afterward to make sure they really read and understood the story. Sometimes we make them prove that they read by writing something about it. And then we hope that someday when nobody is making them do any of these things anymore, they'll keep reading.

(00:57):

Curious behavior, truly. So, today I want to think about this differently. Instead of asking how do we get our kids to read? I want to ask, what do real readers actually do? And then let's give our kids more chances to do that.

(01:33):

Hey, there. Welcome to the Read-Aloud Revival Podcast. This is the show that helps you make meaningful and lasting connections with your kids through books and that helps your family make reading a way of life. I'm your host, Sarah Mackenzie. I'm a mother of six and the author of Teaching From Rest, The Read-Aloud Family and several award-winning picture books. And I want you to think today of an adult you know who reads a lot, like a real voracious reader. Maybe it's your sister, maybe it's your best friend, maybe it's you. You know the person. They always have a book going. Whenever somebody mentions a book title, they'll go, "Oh yeah, I read that. Got someone in mind?" Okay. Hold that person in your mind for a minute because I want us to notice how she reads. And I also want us to consider how different that looks from how most of us approach our kids' reading lives.

(02:36):

First of all, that adult reader that you have in your mind probably chooses her own books. She might get recommendations from friends. She might wander around a bookstore reading the backs of books or the flaps of books. She probably has a TBR somewhere that's a to be read list, of course. That TBR is probably several lifetimes too long. I bet she goes back to authors she has loved before to read their next book. I bet she notices what other people are reading. And by the way, this can be a she or a he. I'm just going to use she today since that's what I am.

(03:18):

Okay. So, she probably picks books up and thinks, "Oh, this looks good." Probably nobody hands her a syllabus in January and says, "These are the 12 books you will read this year." Now she might be in a book club and those books might be assigned to her, but I bet if this is a person who reads a lot, that's not all she reads. And that matters because choosing books is actually a reading skill. You have a reading taste. I have a reading taste. For example, I love character driven historical fiction. I love middle grade family stories. I am not a fan of ghost stories at all. In fact, if ghost stories were the only type of book available to me, you would very quickly conclude Sarah Mackenzie does not like to read, which would be inaccurate.

(04:16):

Sarah Mackenzie just doesn't really like to read ghost stories, those kinds of stories. I only know that because I've had years and years to choose books, abandon books, try something new, love something I didn't expect to love, notice what keeps pulling me back, right? Our kids need that practice too, because imagine being assigned nearly everything you read all through high school and maybe through college, and then one day nobody assigns your reading anymore. Now what? You walk into a bookstore and there are a bazillion choices. How do you know what you like? How do you know what to try? Real readers choose books. So, if we want to raise real readers, our kids need opportunities to choose books. Not every book. I'm not saying we can never assign a book, right? But they need to do it often enough that they get to develop their reading taste enough that they learn to think, "Ooh, I liked this one. I didn't like that one. I wonder why." That's becoming a reader.

(05:23):

Okay. What else does that adult reader, go back to the adult reader in your mind that you know who reads a lot, what else does she do? I'll name some things that came up for me. The real readers I know usually read pretty regularly. Most read just about every day. They also often carry books with them, have them handy. I almost always have a book with me. I think there's almost nothing worse than finding yourself alone in a waiting room or at soccer practice for 15 quiet minutes and realizing you forgot your book. It's tragic. A lot of readers also are reading several books at once. And I don't mean in the same minute. I mean they usually have several books going. I usually have at least some fiction going, one, two or three non-fiction books going, maybe some essays, maybe a memoir. I have multiple books going at once, and then I just pick up whatever I'm in the mood for. A lot of real readers I know do the same thing.

(06:24):

Real readers also tend to keep lists of books they want to read. That's that TBR I mentioned, right? The to be read. Somebody mentions a book and they think I want to read that and they make a list. They oftentimes recommend books to their friends. They talk about books. Some of us apparently start entire podcasts because we cannot keep our book recommendations to ourselves. Guilty as charged. All of this brings up the question I keep coming back to. Are we giving our kids practice at the habits they'll need when nobody is making them read anymore? Because most of our children's reading lives, God willing, will happen after they leave our homes. That takes some major pressure off by the way.

(07:14):

You do not have to cram every important book they must read before adulthood into these 18 years. Since most of their lives will be lived after they leave your home, most of their reading will also be done after they leave your home, if they become adults who read, I mean. So, that means that there is not a particular list of books that you've got to have your kids read. There are lots of classics or important books that my kids will discover, my adult children now will discover after they've left our home. And that is not a failure or like a, "I can't believe you didn't read this to me, mom." It's like, "Oh my goodness, they're readers." So now they're like, "Oh my goodness, I found this book and I love it so much." And they're discovering them and reading them for fun. So, how do we help our kids become the kind of people who will keep reading when they're 28 and 42 and 67, right?

(08:10):

They need to become people who know how to choose a book, people who have reading taste. They need to be people who talk about books, people who reread, people who try something outside their normal genre sometimes, people who abandon a book that isn't a good fit and pick up another one, people who know what to do when nobody is assigning their reading anymore. That's the goal. The goal is to help them make reading a way of life so that they keep reading even after they leave our homes. Once we look at it this way, I think it can help us answer all kinds of questions about our kids' reading lives. Should I assign this book? Should we do the summer reading program? Should I require a book report? Should we read this one aloud together or should I let my child read it independently? Instead of looking for a right or wrong answer to any of those questions, none of those questions are moral questions, right?

(09:11):

They don't have an absolute right or wrong. Instead, we can ask, is this going to help my child practice becoming a real reader? Is this going to help my child make reading a way of life? That's a different question. It's a much more helpful question.

(09:39):

Speaking of questions, actually, some of you have submitted questions that are right in line with this idea of developing habits of real readers, so let's hear them.

Joanna (09:50):

Hi, Sarah. My name is Joanna and I'm calling from Western North Carolina in the mountains. And I was wondering, when I read a book, I tend to read the first couple of chapters and then I skip and read the last chapter. And my husband teases me mercilessly about this, especially since some of our kids have displayed a willingness to do the same. And I guess I was just maybe looking for affirmation that this is a good pre-reading strategy or is this the type of thing we want our children doing? Looking for thoughts. Thank you so much.

Sarah Mackenzie (10:34):

Joanna, yes. Permission granted. Please tell your husband I said so. There are basically two kinds of readers in the world, people who are horrified by spoilers and people who genuinely cannot understand why everyone is so worked up about them. Okay. For the most part, I'm in the second group. You can tell me the ending. It will not ruin the book for me. If I want to read it, I'm going to read it anyway. My daughter, Allison, on the other hand, you had better not even breathe suggestively about the ending of something she is reading. She is an absolutely no spoilers kind of person, but there's something interesting happening in the reader brain here that I'd love to talk about. See, the first time we read a story, our brain is very interested in one particular question, what happens next? That question pulls us through the story.

(11:39):

Our brains are constantly asking what happens next? What happens next? It's also one reason that rereading can be such a rich experience. Once you know what happens, your brain has way more room to notice everything else, the beautiful language, symbolism, character development, the way the character pulled all of these things together. So, if you like to peak at the end first, I have a hunch, you may simply enjoy reading with that big what happens next question already answered. I don't see any problem with that actually. And I certainly don't see any problem with your kids discovering that they also like to read that way. Actually, this reminds me of something Jonathan Auxier teaches about writing. So, Jonathan is the author of several fabulous books for kids, Sweep, The Night Gardener, Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes, several other RAR favorites. He talks about how the beginning and the ending of a book should rhyme.

(12:47):

And I don't mean like cat hat sat rhyme, not that kind of rhyme. He talks about how they should echo each other, the beginning and the ending of the book. And they bring the story full circle basically. So, something that you notice in the first page is, this is not true for all books by the way, but really masterful writers do this and it is incredible where the beginning page and the last page have some kind of a rhyme or echo or full circle satisfying thing about them. So, Joanna, next time your husband gives you grief, just tell him you're conducting a sophisticated literary analysis of the relationship between the opening and closing passages. You are welcome. Okay, let's hear from Rosie.

Rosie (13:36):

Hi, Sarah. My name is Rosie and I live in Texas. My question is, when I am reading aloud to my son, is it a problem if he is looking at other books while being read to? I'm thinking not just because I know that boys are more apt to take in and absorb more information when they are busy doing something. But as the reader, it just doesn't feel all that great to think that he's not listening to me and I'm wondering if he is being distracted by the other pictures and books that he's looking at. So, just wondering what you would say on that, if it's something that I need to address or just let it be and keep reading to him. So, thank you so much. I absolutely love your podcast. You inspire me every single time I listen. Thank you so, so much.

Sarah Mackenzie (14:23):

Rosie, I can hear in your question that you already suspect the answer. He's probably fine. The question isn't really, does he look like my picture of a person who is listening actively, right? The question is, is he taking in the story? And you can figure that out without turning this into any kind of a comprehension quiz. Sometimes when my kids and I are listening to an audiobook while working on a puzzle, I will realize that I have stopped paying attention. Like I've just either gotten so focused on what I'm doing that I've lost track of what's happened in the audiobook or my brain just got busy doing something else. I was worrying about this calendar or the grocery list or all those things I needed to get done and I've stopped paying attention. So, then I'll pause the audiobook and say something like, "Ah, wait, who is that character? I totally missed it." Or, "How did they get here? Sorry, I zoned out for a second."

(15:15):

Two things happen here, I think. I think it helps our kids understand that when they're listening to or reading a book, sometimes that happens. I'm a pretty voracious reader. I'm in a habit of a lot of reading and still when I'm either reading with my eyes or my ears, I will lose track of the book because I'm a human being. And so, it's a helpful way for them to see that that's a normal thing to happen to a voracious reader. It's okay if it happens to them. What happens in this case though, when I say, "Oh." I pause the audiobook and go, "Wait, I don't even know this character. I missed this. Can you fill me in?" My kids will fill me in, which is great because it's like a casual narration thing where they are retelling the story and that's a fabulous skill for them to have.

(15:58):

So, in a case like this, questions like, "What happened right before we stopped reading last time?" Or, "Does anybody remember where we left off yesterday?" Or starting the story and go, "Oh, why is he here again?" Or, "I forgot who that person is. Do you remember?" Now, you've got to do it in a way that's not like a thinly veiled test, like a gotcha moment. You want to do it more like an invitation to a conversation around the story, like in a sincere way of what's happening here? And it's okay that you're trying to figure out if he's actually listening, but I would just not, if he answers wrongly, be like, "See, that means you weren't listening." I would just kind of make a mental note. What I bet is going to happen is that your son will be able to tell you what's happening, and if he can tell you what's happening, I would let him keep doing whatever he is doing.

(16:55):

My oldest son is 21 years old, a voracious reader, reads all kinds of really interesting books now as adult for fun, classics and hard books and philosophical books and books about economic principles and all kinds of things. Now, this kid used to jump on the trampoline while I read aloud. It drove me a little crazy. His sisters would be sitting there looking extremely attentive or at least quiet while I was reading aloud, and he would be jumping up and down behind me on the trampoline. And then the next day I'd ask, "Okay, who remembers what happened in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz," or The Trumpet of the Swan or whatever we were reading? And he would remember everything often more than anybody else. Brains are interesting. I guess what I'm saying here is I would pay less attention to what listening looks like and more attention to whether he's actually engaged with the story. And if he is, you're good.

Tiffany (18:00):

Hi, Sarah. My name is Tiffany and I am from North Carolina. I have three kids, 11-year-old, twin boys, and a 14-year-old daughter, and they all have very strong opinions about the books we read. Do you have any suggestions for helping them develop appropriate language and skills for giving good book reviews? I tell them that they are not required to like every book we read, but I do want to help them develop those opinions into more constructive feedback. Thank you so much for all that you do. RAR is a big part of our lives and we are so grateful to be a part of this community.

Sarah Mackenzie (18:34):

Opinionated children. Nope. Can't relate. Tiffany, I love this question because having a strong opinion about a book is actually incredibly useful. We just want to get beyond, I liked it, I hated it, it was boring, because none of those tells us very much. If one of my kids says, "I hated that book." I might say, "Oh, what'd you hate about it?" Not because I'm trying to convince them they're wrong, I'm not. They're absolutely allowed not to like a book that I love. I mean, honestly, there are plenty of classics, for example, that I'm apparently supposed to love, but I do not. And no, I will not be naming them for you. But here's what I'm getting at. If we can name why we liked or disliked something, we learn something about ourselves as readers. We also learn to ask questions as we read, which is actually the foundation of good writing.

(19:33):

So, a question that might be helpful here is what would've made this book more interesting to you? So if they say, "I hated it." I'll say, "Oh, what did you not like about it? What would've made it more interesting to you?" It's a pretty cool question. Maybe they wanted more action. Maybe they wanted less action. Maybe they wish it had been set on a ship. Maybe they wanted a funnier main character, or maybe like me, they thought the story would've been improved by adding a tiny mouse wearing suspenders, living in a mushroom. These are important things to know. Now, I know, for example, that I really like short chapters. Short chapters are an immediate selling point for me. Tell me, "Sarah, you should read this. The chapters are three pages long." Sold, I will at least try it. I tell you that much. If you say, "Sarah, this book is long and pretty slow, but it's got beautiful language and it's so worth it." My love for beautiful language does not outweigh my angst over a very long tome. You're going to have to sell me on it in some other way.

(20:40):

I also know that personally, I get bored by long descriptions of scenery, three paragraphs or three pages about the hills. Yeah, I'm struggling to pay attention. Three paragraphs or three pages about Eleanor Roosevelt, I'm riveted. I'm all in. That's reading taste, and that actually helps our kids develop habits of reading and thinking and talking about the books that they're reading. It helps them become people who will know what kind of books that they'll enjoy reading when they're older. But there's another question that is interesting here too that might be useful to you, and I actually love pairing these together. You can say, "What do you think the author was trying to do?" So if your kid says, "I hated it." Or, "I loved it," and they can't come up with any other reason why, "Try this one. What do you think the author was trying to do? And then did they accomplish it?"

(21:35):

Because now we're stepping outside of our preferences, right? We're stepping out of our opinions, our personal preferences, and we're thinking about what the author might have, we never know for sure unless they've told us somewhere, but what they might have been trying to do and we can assess whether or not we think they were successful and that will require us to think through the book pretty critically, like thinking through what happened and whether it accomplished the author's goal. This is actually a bedrock question for a lot of literary criticism. What was the author trying to do and did they accomplish it? I don't always think it's the most interesting question, but it can be an interesting question, especially for a kid who keeps saying, "I liked it." Or, "I didn't." And they can't tell you anything else because I can recognize that a book accomplished exactly what its author intended while also recognizing it's not a book I particularly enjoyed. Those are two different things.

(22:32):

And that's actually a lovely reading skill too, to be able to get underneath somebody else's umbrella for a little while. If we think about the word understanding, I like to think about this. If I want an understanding of this book, let's take the book Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. Now, I am a voracious reader who knows a lot about my own reading taste. Not a big fan of Gothic fiction, frankly. Jane Eyre is not one of my favorite books. Gothic fiction is just not really my thing. Now, however, I know that I can learn a lot from Jane Eyre and Charlotte Brontë is revered as one of the best authors of all time. So, if I'm going to read the book with a desire for understanding, I like the word understanding here because it puts us under. I'm going to sit under Charlotte Brontë, under her mantle for a minute, under her umbrella, and I'm going to look at the world through her eyes and ask myself, "What do I think she might have been trying to do with this book and did she accomplish it?" That's just an interesting way to approach it.

(23:34):

There's a difference between asking our kids, did you like it and having the expectation of you better have because I loved it. We don't want to do that. Kids are allowed to have different reading tastes than we do, and some of my kids have very different reading tastes than I do. And that's never a thing to shame them about because it's not like our reading taste is the best. We think so, but reading taste is like any other kind of taste. We all have different tastes for food and you have different taste for literature too. So I would do both. I would say, "What worked or what didn't work for you in this book? What would have made the book more interesting for you?" And you could try, "What do you think the author was trying to do here?" Because now we're helping kids develop their own reading taste and we're teaching them to be thoughtful as they read, to consider another point of view as they read. That's a pretty rich book discussion, even for kids who tend to have either strong opinions or struggle to expound on their opinions.

Rachel (24:42):

Hi, Sarah. My name is Rachel. I live in Missouri and my question is about kids' commonplace books. My kids are ages nine, seven and four, and I imagine keeping a commonplace book might look a bit different for that 10 and under crowd than for older children, but I would still like to hear some about when and how you introduced your kids to commonplace books and what elements you include in them. I'm also wondering if making entries in their commonplace books is part of your kids' homeschool routine or if that's left to be done at whim as part of their personal reading lives. Thanks.

Sarah Mackenzie (25:14):

Rachel, I love this question. For anyone unfamiliar with the term, a commonplace book is basically a place to keep words you don't want to lose, a sentence from a book, a passage, a quote, something beautiful or funny or wise or makes you think, "Oh, I want to remember that." People have kept commonplace books in all kinds of forms for centuries. Mine is super sophisticated. It's the notes app on my phone. So, clearly we don't need to make this precious, although you can, especially with younger kids though, I wouldn't. I'd make it easy. A blank spiral notebook works beautifully for this. So here's how it works. When you're reading aloud and you come across a line that you love, you can stop and say, "Oh, I want to keep that." And then get your notebook and write it down. Let them see you do it. This is one of those habits that is caught very naturally.

(26:14):

If they see you do it, it's likely that at some point while reading, your child will think, "Ooh, wait, I want to save that one." And then they'll copy it into their notebook. That's the whole thing. That's the whole practice. You can add the book title and the page number underneath so you know where it came from if you want, but that's it. You're done. Now, I generally would not make this an ongoing assignment like an assignment every day. I like a commonplace book to feel a little bit like a personal treasure, but there are times when I've assigned the practice because sometimes we need help learning to notice and getting into a habit. So, when I taught a book club for, I think they were eight to 11-year-olds at our homeschool co-op, I gave each child a plain spiral notebook and then I asked them to bring one passage from their weekly reading to class every week.

(27:02):

That was it. Their homework was to read the passage that I'd assigned and to copy down one passage, one thing that was beautiful or funny or interesting. Some of the kids chose the shortest possible sentence. Fine, they're still practicing looking closely at language. And then in class I'd ask, "Does anybody want to share what they saved?" Very low pressure, very simple, and really delightful when two kids happen to choose the same passage. So, with younger kids, I would probably think less about starting a commonplace book curriculum type thing and more about just creating a family habit of saving words you love, saving passages you love. That's a habit that real readers have. And that's really the big idea I want to leave you with today. If you want to raise kids who keep reading after they leave your home, who make reading a way of life, give them practice doing what real readers do.

(28:06):

Give them practice now. Let them choose books. Let them develop opinions. Let them quit books sometimes. Talk about books with them. Save good words. Reread favorites. Maybe once in a while before adding another requirement to your child's reading life, ask yourself the question, "Would I do this to an adult reader?" Because listen, if my best friend called and said, "Sarah, I just finished the best book," my response would not be, "Great. Please write three paragraphs about it now to prove you actually read it." We do that to our kids, right? We can teach our kids plenty about books. Without making everything an assignment, we can keep our eyes on the bigger goal, which is not just kids who know how to read, but readers, people who know what books can do for them and people who keep reaching for them long after nobody is making them do it anymore.

(29:10):

Before you go, I invite you to make sure that you are subscribed to this podcast in your podcast app and also on YouTube so that you don't miss a thing. And if you enjoy the podcast, I would sure love it if you would leave a rating or review anywhere you listen. It's such a help to us as we help families make reading a way of life. I'll be back with another episode for you in a couple of weeks, but in the meantime, you know what to do. Go make meaningful and lasting connections with your kids through books.