My Biggest Homeschooling Mistake: Over-thinking Methods & Philosophies
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this last decade of homeschooling my kids. I think my biggest, so far, is this: over-thinking educational philosophies and methods.
You know how many ways there are to homeschool, right? And how many books there are on each and every method? I’ve probably read almost all of them.
Really.
That’s not an overstatement, and that, my friends, is a mistake. Don’t get me wrong- I’m all for self-education, but there is such a thing as overdoing it.
I overdid it. Big time.
Part of my mistake was not just the reading of educational philosophy (because that in itself is not such a bad thing); the mistake was in being easily swayed by so-called educational experts.
For awhile there, I was unable to read a book on any method without feeling like I needed to change something in our homeschooling, even if everything was going fine.
I neglected to do what worked and follow my instincts, in favor of following a particular model or educational pioneer.
I would pick up an Unschooling book and become overwhelmed with guilt that I might be “coercing” my children into learning something they probably didn’t need to know.
I would read Charlotte Mason and think I should be spending “hours in the out-of-doors” every day, regardless of the crummy weather.
I’d read something Classical and decide I was doing my kids a giant disservice by failing to introduce them to latin declensions.
The Moores told me I was likely teaching my kids to read too early; The Well Trained Mind said I was too late.
The Waldorf folks told me computer-based learning should be avoided at all costs, and that workbooks were dull and useless.
The Reggio proponents (who admittedly had me smitten for a good long while) encouraged me to follow my children’s interests and let them steer the curriculum.
There are enough methods and philosophies out there to make a girl’s head spin, but until recently, I never realized that we ought to do what works for us, fits our temperaments, and helps us achieve the goals we are working toward.
What works for the kids in front of you
I read and read and read until I could tell you the ins-and-outs of every educational method under the sun, but I couldn’t tell you what worked for my kids.
Which is ridiculous, really, because I’m not teaching every child under the sun. And yet I knew more about how Reggio education came to be or how Charlotte Mason thought grammar should be taught than about what worked best for my own children.
My nose was always stuck in a book; my face always turned toward a screen.
I was so wrapped up in the how of teaching these children, that I wasn’t really meeting the needs of my actual children.
It was only when I silenced the voices of educational gurus coming from the bookshelf and internet and really paid close attention to my own children that I found our groove.
One does not need to be versed in educational methodology to teach well.
One needs to love her child. Pay attention to him. Notice how he learns- what he understands easily, what hinders his understanding.
On paying attention to our own children
If I had spent those hours watching my children and following my instincts instead of reading up on this or that educational philosophy, I would have reaped greater rewards far sooner.
My children would have received a better education, and I would have been a happier, more-content homeschooling mother.
Just these last couple of years, I’ve started using curriculum programs that were a good fit for my kids’ personalities and my own teaching style, regardless of what any educational method said about them.
I ignored the advice calling out from the bookshelf and did what made sense to do.
Turns out, we like things a bit schooly. I created checklists. My kids switched to a more traditional math program. I started using a scripted phonics program.
Basically, I started doing what worked for my kids, without worrying that I was caving to “school-in-a-box” or that I was failing to perfectly live out any particular educational philosophy.
Because I stopped being distracted by idealistic, romantic notions of educators who have never met my children, we flourished.
Suddenly we were getting in a very solid academic education, and had plenty of free time to go on field trips, read for hours, converse about life, and pursue our own interests to boot.
The difference between learning and over-learning
Don’t get me wrong– I’m not opposed to reading up on educational methods, or brushing up on a teaching skill here or there. I even wrote a homeschooling book myself.
The difference is that I’m no longer over-analyzing, and I’m not ditching methods that are already working well in our home just because an “expert” says I should.
Reading homeschooling books should support the family’s way of learning instead of instilling doubt and stirring a pot that’s already bubbling away rather happily.
I intend to live out the rest of our homeschooling journey without getting sidetracked by the pretty, shiny, romantic notions contained in homeschooling books.
But that’s like saying I won’t make any more mistakes. I’m sure I will.
So I’ll post this now, mostly for myself. It will be a good reminder the next time a promising new homeschooling book lands in my mailbox.
Where do I begin??
How about spending 3 to 4 figures on educational philosophy books and support materials? Then trying to bounce between them and create this hodge-podge that literally suchs weeks of my time and steals all of our joy. I’m looking at just one of the bookcases now. Yet I can’t get rid of them because literally they cost SO. MUCH. MONEY. Then there’s the guilt, like you said. I have guilt over letting my children down. Freaking out at times that my husband will not understand or see improvements. The pressure from so many groups to fit yourself into a box. I’m good with being that person that has never fit into a box. Never. And yet I am supposed to fit myself into a box when it comes to educating my children? I’m not Charlotte Mason-y enough to fit in with local CM groups. I don’t subscribe to Unschooling for the most part. I don’t care for textbooks or anything that requires set schedules and structure… I rebel when I’m forced to stick to a rigid schedule. I don’t jive with CLassical although I *think* I might be interested in RC History or a RC History/Beautiful Feet hybrid. I LOVE picture books. I really do enjoy Unit Studies! But all too many resources on my shelf overly shun both. My kids are tiny; my eldest in Kinder. So we have time to flesh everything out. But sheesh…. I adore the booklist suggestions for your site/books as well as others and love the idea of working much of what we do around them. Unit Studies, meets CM, meets my own random thoughts. I don’t know. I just know that there are far too many amazing books out there to settle for ones that draw neither my children nor myself in. There are classics I think we would enjoy and others that my kids (or myself) would just be bored to tears with. I think the biggest thing is that I need to give myself permission to just do what I need and want to do. If it doesn’t work, then reconfigue it. But I have to say, your website is doing a fabulous job of reminding me why I wanted to teach my children in the first place. I just have to get brave enough to stop caring what others think and say ” you do you and I’ll do me”. Thanks for your website and podcasts. I think my children would thank you, too.
Changing ‘could’s into ‘should’s Is a habit I am trying to undo, in general. With all of the amazing resources to ‘educate’ my home schooling approach with my kiddos…I am fighting the good fight in my own heart and mind by forcing the myriads of ‘could’s to remain just that. 🤓
Yes! I have been avoiding books & authors that make me second guess what we are doing. Their ideas are valuable but don’t work in our current season. Oh, how I wish I could go back a few years and change things a bit. Much harder when you have high school level kids. Things are working and the kids are learning. I’m holding on to that.
Cheers to this! This is me- I am reading about myself in this post. Thanks for the reality check- this is totally encouraging!
The bog is Great!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us I am sure this would help parents who have just started or planning to start homeschooling their children. I can tell everyone who start homeschooling faces some or other problem, Its just some matter of time u will definitely start to get going till then just try to focus.
This is REALLY good. Guilty as charged, and also my biggest homeschooling mistake – spending too much time trying to figure out all that’s out there so I can make “informed decisions.” I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to glean the wisdom of others and various methodologies, but it is too easy to get obsessive. Thanks for the post!
p.s. Love the craft the kids are doing. That’s a clever way of painting and it looks like a fun fall project. Maybe we’ll do a spring/summer modification and paint wildflowers that way :)
The Blog is really fantastic!! As you have told all the mistakes which happened to you while you were homeschooling your children. This will help the parents who have just started homeschooling their children. When I had started homeschooling my children there were lot of things going in my mind like how should i homeschool my children? what things are needed while homeschooling and etc. I have got all my answers by reading blogs. So keep writing such blog which will help every parent.
Thank you so much.
Love it! Our homeschool philosophy is that we want to teach our children to love to learn, teach them how to learn and provide an atmosphere for learning. No preset curriculum, few textbooks (if any) and plenty of learning through everyday life.
New homeschooler here (in our 2nd year) and ummm…yes! I have noticed myself with a nose in a book about homeschooling while not responding to my own children who are right here, right now. We chose our curriculum largely (but not entirely) based on one of your blog posts. I am SO THANKFUL we have reading and math “curriculum.” We are done with “school” in an hour (my daughter is 7) and then we spend a TON of time reading aloud with, of course, many thanks to the inspiration from Read Aloud Revival. Your podcast has helped to shape our homeschool into one built on the love and beauty of books. This post is a good reminder (although I’m going to continue reading about educational philosophy) to use them as inspiration only but not a guide.
This was awesome and to the point. I felt very much this way, I had binders of print-out on Homeschooling when I was beginning. Thanks, this was uplifting.
YAAAASSS!!!! I am just now realizing that in my attempt to find the one “method” that was right for us, I have missed creating our OWN method. I think hearing over and over again, “just do what works for your family” didn’t resonate, but hearing, “COMBINE THE METHODS, STUPID” somehow got in there. It’s so helpful to drop all the guilt…especially since it was holding me back so much. This is one for my “homeschool encouragement” folder. Thanks, Sarah!
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Hi there, we all make mistakes and no one can be perfect. I really admire your courage to admit that. What we need to do is try our best to meet our needs. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!
Thank You! Just what I needed to hear today.
So good. Thank you. This matches my journey- though I’m not yet sure what’s best for my kiddos.
This is so good! You put the feeling I have had for some time now into clear words for me! I love reading about different philosophies , but we end up using bits and pieces of MANY that resonate for our family, rather than becoming staunch disciples of just one!
The weird thing that I wish I would have taken the time to know what each of my kids need, but the curriculum we chose dud not fit that. Still Hod knew we needed that curriculum because it was very hands-for for me(videos). HE knew that we would be enteribg a time when I needed others to oversee several days of school while I had to wirk outside the home. Some of these others were using the exact same curticulum!! That made it easier on all our families. This year, I expect to ve working outside our home even less, and so I am finding freedom to be more hands on.
So glad to hear that you had support while you were working!
This, exactly. Except instead of reading all the books I kept looking around at all the other “perfect” homeschooling families and tried to recreate what they did. I read your book Teaching from Rest last summer. I got to the end of the book, turned it over and read it through again. I think that was a first for me. It changed my life and my homeschooling. You were anointed to write that book. Keep up the great work!!
I love the reminder to not compare my insides with other people’s outsides! Peace keep you, Sabrina.
Thank you for sharing! I’ve been reading every book under the sun and really need to step back and see what works for my kids! Great great reminder! Thank you as always for sharing.
Very thought provoking!
So so so so good. Amen.
Thank you for being so honest and caring.
We met in Minnesota last year at the Catholic Home Educators conference, between seeing you speak, reading your book, listening to your podcast and being a RAR member – you have had a major impact on my homeschooling. I have 3 boys, ages 6 (first grade), 4 and 1. I am an ENFJ, as well as a Learner and Input on strengths finder and love to research. I, too, have wasted so much time reading up on homeschooling methods, philosophies, educational pursuits and not focusing on my children and how they learn best. I oftentimes worry that I am going to do something wrong or make a bad decision, so I research it to no avail to ensure a “perfect” result – I’m not specifically talking about homeschooling here. :)
I recently realized that in my quest for knowledge on how to educate my children, I have completely moved away from one of the reasons that we home educate – to tailor our educational pursuits for our children. To give them a customized education with time to grow that suits each one personally. I have changed countless parts of our homeschool on a whim, (some were working and others were very much not) because I was swayed by something I read on a blog, heard in a podcast or read in a book. Looking back at the last two years of our homeschool I can see why you are so adamant about knowing your “why”, forming a vision, and having a “rule of 6”.
Thank you for this reminder, as it was very timely.
Peace keep you, Maria! <3
This. exactly this was my mistake. These were my exact thoughts. This was my exact way of learning and planning my hs life. It was all wrong!!!
This just happened to me. At The beginning of this year, I just gave up this approach a little at a time. I prayed, I cried, I apologized to my son. Took a 2 month break. Then I started to focus on what was going well in our homeschool life and i stuck with that. I hung on to that for dear life! Currently, We are enjoying ourselves and thats it!! no shocker here: we are learning a whole lot!
I sooooo agree with this post. I just struggle to understand how to figure out the actual needs of my kids and how to meet them. How were you finally able to ‘find your groove’? Just going day by day? High school has made this particularly challenging.
You and my wife are they same but I really adore her for her hard work for our kids.
Such a good reminder. Thanks for your audio book Teaching From Rest. Such a blessing.
I appreciate and wholeheartedly agree with this. I have schooled four daughters, all of whom have turned out to be well-rounded citizens. I could go on about their lives which many would say are successful, but the biggest thing to me is that they treat people well, love God and love each other. I changed methods many times; there were months of survival schooling (bare minimum), months of stressing to get it all done, months of grieving over dying loved ones, months of great hands on projects, science experiments, field trips,etc… I did great lesson plans, I gave up on lesson plans. This went on for 26 years. I have no regrets that I put reading the Bible first; reading aloud was also a priority.
My biggest regret is that I didn’t take enough time to teach in a practical way my own skills in sewing, piano playing, home canning, needle arts, etc. We were too busy “doing school”. I just wish I would have spent more time on those practical aspects of daily home economics. Now, we talk on the phone about those things, and they are all great cooks! I have forgiven myself! Life is short, “childhood slips like sand through a sieve”, just like Bert says it does. I don’t wish it back, I want to go forward in being a good grandma. :)
As a teacher turned. Homeschool mom – I had a hard time breaking myself away from that school mindset. You know… We have reading for an hour, then we open our books up to do Math and so on.
Teaching school was all I knew in the beginning…until about 2 years ago (about this time) I discovered that homeschooling doesn’t have to look like school at home. Homeschool is and looks like LEARNING at HOME❤️
I SO needed this! I knew it but I guess I needed someone to spell it out just like you did. 🌹
My biggest mistake was not taking myself into account.
I finally learned the best ________ curriculum is not going to be the best for my family if *I* can not stand it, even if it is one my kids would enjoy.
So, find what works for the kids AND mom.
Also, know it is ok to switch curriculum a couple/few kids in if the idea of doing the same book for the 4th or 6th or… time feels like fingernails on a chalkboard, no matter how wonderful it is. (I had to switch phonics plans with #4 or 5 I just could not live through those same little stories again!)
Yes! So sorry much Yes! I just wrote a whole post about this myself. I had spent too much time reading and listening to podcast and totally overthought this school year. I’m working hard to get us back on track. As always, love your posts!
As usual, Sarah, you spoke straight to my heart!! Thanks for these words.
Keep ‘me coming!
Just wanted to say thank you for this post. I came across this as I sat here listening to your Periscope on making the Master Lists and using spiral notebooks (which I have been thinking about doing for some time).
Not long ago I realized that it is a whole lot “easier” to read, make curriculum “wish-lists” and “research” – than it is to actually implement what I am learning and just dive in with my kids and DO IT. That’s the scary part – what if I fail? What if it’s too hard (because Lord knows, some days are just crazy hard)! What if I can’t really do it?
A lot of the time I just freeze because it’s the actual starting that’s hard. I will read and learn and peruse the internet, but I will fail to connect with the very children I’m supposed to be educating and learning with. How many days have passed me right by where my focus has been mislead?! Way. Too. Many.
Thank you for sharing your courage to avoid going with the flow of the popular current! I needed to read this today!
I’m still doing this and can’t figure out how to stop! It’s maddening and in the 1.5 years I’ve been homeschooling I haven’t had much joy and either do my kids.
Thank you Sara, I needed just this kind of advise right now!
This was me this last year… feeling so pulled in every direction. We were doing Montessori but so many other ways looked appealing/seemed better!
We’re in our first week of year 2 and we went with a more “boxed” approach in some things. I feel so much lighter already! We’ve had challenges. But I feel very confident in the direction we’re going because I know this is good for MY kids. They’re excited about school and I’m very excited to teach them. :)
My current challenge is remembering that I have a 5, 3, and 2 year old. So things will be hectic and out of order at times. And that’s so normal.
thanks you for being such a helpful resource and encouragement in the land of homeschooling! your book is a breath of fresh air to me.
We just started homeschooling this year. Over the summer, I read many many books trying to figure out what we were going to do. (Cause we had to do SOMETHING!) While unschooling philosophies appeal to me, the last book I read was over by Chapter 2 and I decided to just see what happened. My kid likes math so we do math, he likes me to read to him but I think he needs to learn for himself, so I get him to read atleast one book a day, then I read him something juicier. We started french classes that he actually enjoys AND he’s singing french songs outside of that class, on his own. We’re bike riding and swimming and climbing trees, and I think we’re doing good. Every week we add something and build on where we were the week before. But, far and above any philosophy or method, I am over the moon ecstatic that my kid is happy. I am not getting calls from school, he is not sitting in the office by himself, he is not shrunk into a terrible place within himself, angry and hurt all the time. Regardless of the nothing or everything that we do, we are at happy…and from happy the world is our oyster! Glad to have found your site.
Wow Sarah! Thanks a million times over for such a great post. I am new to the homeschooling world starting with my 4 year old son this September, and a toddler daughter (who attends ‘Baby School’ with us) and I have recently began to become overwhelmed by the sheer mass amounts of information available about how, why, when, where one should do education and what are the *BEST* materials to use in doing so. It’s enough to drive an intellectual and a closet perfectionist like me- crazy!
Thanks for this grounding post and bringing out the heart of home education. I have recently found and fallen in love with your work and your Read Aloud Revival. I look forward to learning from someone like yourself who seems to possess a joy, openness and spirit of laughter on your journey in homeschooling and ultimately for the next life. May God continue to bless your work so that you and those you love and work for may thrive.
Thanks again for such an excellent post that reaffirms that especially as homeschooling parents, our intuitive sense, which comes to us from the Holy Spirit is the best guide we could ever have.
Cheers!
our stories are so similar! This is exactly what I have been going through. I haven’t read the books, but all the excellent encouraging homeschool blogs. They are so wonderful and encouraging but I can’t do it all. I have to do what works for us. Which turns out is just ripping pages out of curriculum work books and put in a file folder, one for each day of the week. So far so good and we have time for the reading and exploring our potential as well. Thanks for this excellent post!!
My biggest mistake has been trying to be a perfect homeschooling mom giving the perfect homeschool education. I am on year 24 of this journey, tutoring my last child and looking back. I wondered about my own sanity/motives when I ordered your book, Teaching From Rest, but am so very glad I read it. Thank you. I am a perfectionist. You have reminded me that God doesn’t ask that of me and that I can continue this adventure freely admitting my IMperfection and asking God to give me grace each day.
I can not explain to you, Sarah, how much this resonates with me. I have literally had the worst two years of homeschooling because I was doing this very thing instead of just doing what was natural for my family. When I say the worst two years, I mean for me mentally. My kids are fine, but I have struggled so much because I felt like I just could not figure things out and I have been trying everything. I am going into my 6th year of homeschooling and I thought I’d have it figured out by now. Like you, I have read it all. I want to give them that love of learning but I have been too stressed out that I haven’t been giving them enough structure or enough freedom. I have discovered Morning time and the “Loop” idea and I finally see the light. This is something I was already doing in my own way and I realize that that’s what I needed to go with.
This post helped me to see that it is more than ok to do what I feel works for us. I want to enjoy these years with them and that’s what I’m going to do. Thank you for this post and for the encouragement!
I totally understand that!
I always want to follow the plan and if we go off the school plan I go nuts. I have a 12,10, and a 2 /12 year old. I do have two older 25 and 21. They did graduate even after I felt I didn’t do the best job.
I have learned and still learning. Homeschool has its blessing and its struggles. Thank you for sharing!
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Thank you Sarah for sharing your experiences and opinions. I feel better, ligther to start my three children homeschooling this year.
What is MY biggest homeschooling mistake…YOU SAID IT EXACTLY and PERFECTLY!!! Thank you for following your God appointed annointing and helping many of us navigate through this season of life called homeschooling :)
I certainly can relate to that Sarah! I have been home educating for over 17 years and am only reaching the stage you are at, now! There were times when I had it right and then I’d read more and feel like some other curriculum was better!! I have children 6 years to 21 years, eleven of them, and I feel I have wasted so much of my time and money swapping and changing my style. Every one of my children were different academically and with their interests, with some common ground of course, but I was so easily influenced and side-tracked. Congratulations on staying true to who you are and what’s best for your kids! I can gratefully say that I have finally got some peace also by doing the same! Shame it took me so long and yes – no doubt more mistakes to come!
anddddd…..LOVE this too….this is so similar to my journey the past couple of years…though I entered into it through a different vehicle other than homeschooling. Learning to love ourselves, is such a tremendous thing…and when I began listening to the Lord’s call to me to put my priorities in the order He would have them…I realized that myself and my needs weren’t even on the list! Then I started to realize that when I allowed my plate to become overwhelmed, the first thing to go was….again….myself. But I am dedicated to persevering and showing my children, especially my daughters, what it looks like to have a mom who understands the value that GOD places on me taking care of me…on mama loving mama. *sigh*….such freedom in self realization. I thank God for His constant reminders and leading me to this place. I’ve never felt such peace and I am so excited for this upcoming school year!
I really identify with this. And it’s made even harder when you read about how a particular style *only* works of you do all of it, rather than just doing the bits that are a best fit for your family.
We will be going into our fourth year this autumn and though I know I’m going to be thrown plenty of curve balls, hopefully I’m building enough confidence in our own way of doing things to ignore those bits of the books, and keep on pulling outthe nuggets that would work for us.
*eclectic forever!*
I am really enjoying your blog but this post has been the most helpful overall. I am just beginning homeschooling my children. I have so many doubts: can I Do it? Will they graduate and be able to attend college? Is this too big of a job for me? Will my BPD get in the way? (which is the biggest one) and so on… But this helps. I don’t have to know EVERYTHING to homeschool.
Thank you.-Sincerely, Maggie A ‘Spoon
Amen! and thank you! and you are funny, clever, humble, gracious!
I love this – I have read it before but its details were so timely today as the CM lover in me was wrestling with the thought of doing computer-based math for our autistic son…thanks for the reminder that the child is always the one you are faithful to…not the philosophy ;).
Yes! I feel like I’m always the rebel on CM and other homeschool philosophy Facebook pages when it comes to adjusting a style to fit our own needs. I do not subscribe to one single way of doing things and never will, yet I’m constantly amazed by how many moms are religious about adhering to a certain method, even when their kid clearly isn’t wired to handle that method as-is. I think there is something to be learned from every philosophy, but not every philosophy is for every person. The thought of holding back a child who is dying to read just because a guru says to? Nonsense. You’re absolutely right. Why do we accept these notions when our kids are individuals with their own interests and learning styles?
I’m out the other side with my older two now. My youngest is at school.
My biggest mistake was sticking with a curriculum that destroyed my sons love of learning.
Because I didn’t think I, a fully trained elementary teacher, couldn’t teach my own kids.
I stumbled upon this tonight and was greatly encouraged. I was actually up late reading about curricula and teaching philosophies and fearing I had already failed my 5-year-old in his education (He’s actually doing great; I haven’t!). I will go to bed now and know that being present tomorrow is more important than my research tonight.
YAAAASSS!!!! I am just now realizing that in my attempt to find the one “method” that was right for us, I have missed creating our OWN method. I think hearing over and over again, “just do what works for your family” didn’t resonate, but hearing, “COMBINE THE METHODS, STUPID” somehow got in there. It’s so helpful to drop all the guilt…especially since it was holding me back so much. This is one for my “homeschool encouragement” folder. Thanks, Sarah!
The good problem is as you are able to open this crate up every pair moments or so.
The more you open it, the lengthier the intervals can turn into.
Make an effort to open it around you are able to, as
you never know what you’re planning to have!
Love your transparency and honesty!
Just like one of the other mammas I’m not a homeschool mamma and probably won’t be at least right now.
“I was unable to read a book on any method without feeling like I needed to change something in our homeschooling.”
For me I often couldn’t go without reading a blog post of someone’s without feeling like we should change something in the eay we we’re raising oir daughter. In the beginning of her life and as a new mamma I lost so much joy because I was more concerned about what the books said and how my friends babies were sleeping instead of how she was doing. My husband had to remind me OFTEN the wisdom we had gotten before she was born “Be a student of YOUR daughter.”
And someone said to me I should be seeking the One that created her. He knows her the best. But, that takes “work” and doesn’t always have quick answers like reading a book does.
Can I confess even this blog and podcasts I have made it to be gold and if I do “this or that” I will have success. I have to remind myself that isn’t necessarily true. I need to seek Him more who never changes and lives forever.
i totally love this post. my question is then–how does one decide which resources to buy once you have watched your kiddos? it’s still so overwhelming. i’ve been told multiple times to start with an approach and that’s weeds out many of the choices, but so far i am not convinced. i am still trying to figure out what to do for this, what to use for that, how to make x work for us. any thoughts/suggestions?
This is something I’ve struggled with as well. We’ve done MFW, SL, AOP, and are now moving into a gentler style I like to call it Charlotte Mason + Twaddle. ;) Your book has hugely influenced me to search out the simpler way to get things done. It also reminded me that I am not here to impress anyone, just to follow God’s will for us. I will be using a guide, but only as a guide. I will let my boys lead the way, and I’m no longer going to feel guilty if we don’t finish by this date, or skip something altogether even {gasp}. Thanks for all you do, really. You are an answered prayer.
Thank you for this article. I have been homeschooling for many years and each year it just doesn’t feel right or feel like it is working. I need to follow your example and just stop trying to force something on us but a lot of times I feel that we are so far behind because of everything I feel that we aren’t ‘getting done’. But I am starting to actually feel God’s nudge to focus on the children’s hearts and not their book learning.
My biggest mistake(s) in my 12 years of homeschooling have been CLAA (its the ONLY way to educate your children..right??….WRONG) MODG and unschooling. These were the methods that I became obsessed about during hard times in my homeschooling journey, and their fierce proponents (and my own easily swayed weak mind) convinced me to drop everything and run with it. Much to the detriment of my bank account and mine and my children’s peace of soul. Well, unschooling not so much the strain on the bank account…but definitely on the soul. The children are miserable when they are left all day to do as they please. Might as well be the female version of WWF around here when we do that. We are similar to you, we like the subjects we do to be a bit schooly. We use a computer math, spelling and a scripted phonics program.
My next biggest mistake was not following my instincts that all 6 if the girls that God gave me deserve to be taught the things that girls have been learning for time immemorial. Cooking, tidying, gardening, home arts, herbal medicines and the love of reading good literature without the pressure to write some book report are perfectly fine to substitute for Latin, grammar, Geography, high sciences and high math. I don’t have to teach what everyone else is teaching, or what the all knowing state mandates me to teach. And contrary to what unschoolers think, I WILL give my children a chore list and EXPECT them to do it! This farm and home do not run themselves by magic fairy elves.
Hi Sarah! I learned of your site few months a go and I love it! You mentioned that you started using a computer based math program and a curriculum program. Do you mind sharing what is the computer based program you are using for math and the curriculum you are using and for what? Thanks!
Hi there Rocio!
At the time I wrote this post, we were using Teaching Textbooks for the math program. We didn’t have a lot of success with it long term, so we’ve since switched to using Saxon (and outsourcing some help in that area– more on that here: https://readaloudrevival.com/scope-6).
We haven’t ever used an all-in-one curriculum, but we definitely use pieces of curriculum from various publishers (Classical Academic Press and All About Reading are two of our favorites).
Hope that helps! :)
This is an old post but I wanted to say thank you because it came my way by divine intervention. I have been overthinking my whole life. Then when I became a parent – obsessive about it. When I became a homeschooling parent I became psychotic over it. In fact today had a conversation with 4 different homeschool moms ( <—now that I think about this it is completely nutso) about what to do about math because we are not where we need to be and I am trying to figure out which curriculum I should change to. My gut has been telling me something but I have listened to so many different experts I had truly forgotten I am the expert of my children. Thank you for saying what so many of us need to hear.
Hi Sarah! I learned of your site few months a go and I love it! You mentioned that you started using a computer based math program and a curriculum program. Do you mind sharing what is the computer based program you are using for math and the curriculum you are using and for what? Thanks!
Boy does this hit me in the face! This is me. I, drive me nuts!
Thank you so much for sharing that piece of wisdom, I am beginning the journey and what a blessing for me.
I could reallllly identify with this! This is our third year h.sing but I’ve been reading about different styles and blogs for YEARS. Yes, I am a researcher….I actually enjoy it to a degree, but something I read in the forward of a book about homeschoolers (yes, I read the introductions in books!) is that, as a researcher, the author said there is a saturation point in research, and when data/ info/ thoughts start repeating themselves, then we’ve reached the point at which more imput is not really benefiting the process(or else the researcher just goes on forever and doesn’t get to do anything valuable or meaningful with the info)
sorry….accidently touched send….So the same holds true for us…recognise the saturation point, assimilate, formulate our own take on it then just do it.
I found my own anxiety diminished once I recognised I knew enough to develop our own style, taking the elements from each approach and then consistently applying that…we are all happier and wayyyy more productive.
Thanks for suchgreat posts
Beks (from N.Z)
This is our 2nd year homeschooling, and I appreciate a post like this. It can suck you in and make you forget the most important part: the children. I am tweeking things as we go to make life better for them while we homeschool, and each time something, somewhere says I should be doing it differently.
I love this post; it’s a great reminder for me, as I tend to make this same mistake EVERY year. We’re about to start our 12th year of homeschooling, and as usual, I find myself fearing that I’m not following the “experts”, and that I’m somehow failing my kids. *sigh*
So this post was very timely for me as I continue to plan the upcoming school year; I can now remember why I’m homeschool and what works for our family.
Thanks for being such an encouragement!
This is my first year doing homeschool. I have days I am not afraid and trust in God then there are days that fear kicks in.
This was exactly what I needed to read. Thank you for your wonderful, sweet and honest words.
Kammi
I enjoyed reading this post. Although you seem to regret the time spent on reading these materials it seems like it’s almost a necessary step. I think you were too hard on yourself. Because you spent the time and effort in soaking in these differing philosophies you have gained a breath of information to share and have built great confidence in what you’re doing. Would you agree? I guess the reason I state this and my reason for asking is because I’m at a place of uncertainty. I don’t have a lot of confidence in my way of homeschooling. I feel like an adolescent trying to “find out who I am” so to speak. It’s uncomfortable. What would be your advice to a person like me (before I go and do something crazy like read every book there is on homeschooling)?
That’s a really good point. It’s easy for me to say “that was a waste of time” from my perspective now, when I have all that information in my pocket to draw from. I guess I wish I had read those books without so much angst- without letting each new idea make me feel like what I was doing was not enough, that who I was wasn’t enough. Does that make sense?
My friend Pam did this great overview of homeschool styles and methods here– this might be a quick way for you to home in on the one or two methods that most speak to you:
http://edsnapshots.com/guide-to-homeschool-methods/
Will you please share what scripted reading program you use?
Yep! I’m a big fan of All About Reading:
http://allaboutlearningpress.net/go.php?id=713
Wow. I am so glad I came across this blog post. What a breath of fresh air to read after weeks of researching what curriculum to use. This will be my first year to homeschool and I almost wanted to throw my hands in the air and quit before even starting!! All of the beautiful pictures online of the homeschool rooms with labelled containers, laminated pages, color-coded pencil holders…it is very intimidating! And of the reviews of the different curriculum makes my mind spin. And not to mention there are actually Mom’s out there that make their own curriculum!?! I don’t want to waste money on something we won’t use, but I want to buy something that will work! I went to the educational teacher bookstore today and was overwhelmed by the choices and the prices!! I almost cried thinking I just can’t do this, I am not good enough to do this! And I know deep down that is not true at all. I have learned it is so easy to get wrapped up in being perfect, but all they need is love and a patient and happy Momma :) And like you said, just follow your instincts…. Thank you sooooo much for this post, it was much needed!
Thank you, this advice is just what I need it.
Sarah, it is 5 o’clock in the morning and I have been reading your blog for a few hours already. I spend a ridiculous amount of time with blogging tasks, reading and writing and researching and the list only seems to grow and grow. But every once in awhile I come across a site that I hopelessly fall in love with and gives me the real inspiration I need, and is sooo worth my time. Today that has happened. Thank you for inspiring me so much. I really needed this.
I plan on spending a lot of time here. Can’t wait to get the Flourish magazine and listen to your audio. Thank you, thank you again.
Thank you for posting this. This has been my biggest mistake too, but thanks to your words of wisdom and honesty, I am going to rest, silence the voices, subdue the knowledge of educational methods that I have accumulated over the last few years and actually “study my kids” too.
I apologize for the horrible run-on sentence above. My grammar isn’t that bad. I pressed “send” before I’d caught the errors.
I loved this part: “I read and read and read until I could tell you the ins-and-outs of every educational method under the sun, but I couldn’t tell you what worked for my kids. Which is ridiculous, really, because I’m not teaching every child under the sun. And yet I knew more about how Reggio education came to be or how Charlotte Mason thought grammar should be taught than about what worked best for my own children. My nose was always stuck in a book; my face always turned toward a screen. I was so wrapped up in the how of teaching these children, that I wasn’t really meeting the needs of my actual children.”
This hit me in the heart. For someone who spends their life reasearching and writing about a particular educational method, it is so easy to be drawn into viewing my children prodominately through the lens of the books I am reading versus viewing the books I read thorugh the lens of what I am actually beholding in the lives and hearts of my children. A slight but powerful paradigm shift. Thank you for sharing!
…”Because I stopped being distracted by idealistic, romantic notions of educators who have never met my children, we flourished.”
Amen and amen
I know you posted this years ago, but this has SO resonated with me today…wow. Thank you. I have spent the last several months (maybe years!) preparing to homeschool my children. The oldest is now five, and you are absolutely right…I should spend the time WITH my children – observing them, guiding them, loving them not trying to avoid them to learn more how to properly teach them! Oh dear…a word in season is a gift.
We haven’t started homeschool but I am so happy I read this. After reading your post I realized I was headed down the same path. Thank you got sharing this!
We’ve just decided to home educate out two children (4 and 2). This post is really good to read. I haven’t read into many education methods yet and although we know we are going down the unschooling route it’s all still so new to me. I love the idea of just going with my kids though and aiding the way they want to learn :)
Yes. Yes. Yes! I am so at this point. I’ve read about it all and I’m so confused. Am I allowing too much TV/computer? Not enough…am I being too restrictive and not allowing her to self-regulate? (Ha to that…tell me what 5 year old will self-regulate watching TV or going to bed at a decent hour!) I have been so overwhelmed by what method is right that I’ve done exactly what you describe…keeping my head in a book or facing a screen instead of paying attention to her and what she needs to learn. Thanks so much for this post. (And for the book…just finished it. Loved it. Will read over and over!)
Thank you. Thank you for a fabulous, not at all intimidating site that I truly enjoy reading! I have shared your writing to Facebook for all my friends to enjoy. I am guilty of over doing everything I touch and this particular article I came across while doing just that! Already I am overdoing it for next year!
Thank you for stopping me. For reminding me why we home school to begin with. You are an inspiration to me.
Thank you for this sweet and encouraging note! I’m so glad the post was helpful to you.
Great post. I have done the same thing, trying to follow approaches to a T but not necessarily fitting them well to the personalities and learning styles of my children. I’m still learning to watch them more, and overthink less!
Wow, this has gotten me thinking. I’ve realized this very thing (overthinking all the different methods) when it comes to diet and health, but I’ve never thought to apply it to homeschooling. I will let this simmer and see what happens. Some further insight might come out of it.
We need a “Matt Stone” of homeschooling. If you don’t know who he is, he basically says the same things you just said about diet that you’re saying about schooling intuitively.
Oh! what a wonderful post sarah. Most of the moms including me doing the same mistake.You wrote it in an excellent way.
I have been pulling my hair out trying to figure out what route to take next year. Thank you for writing this. Seriously, I think you saved me a lot of guilt trips and self doubt.
Oh man, I definitely know the feeling! I’m glad I could offer you a little encouragement. :)
This is so true! I’m happy that I read this now, because I have been beginning to fret and stress about choosing the “right” homeschooling style and picking the perfect curriculum according to what the “experts” say. My oldest will be starting kindergarten at home next year so I am looking for something more structured than our preschool has been and my head was beginning to spin. So thank you. Again. For writing something relevant and helpful and enjoyable to read :)
Yes. I’m too tired right now to say more and why do I need to anyway? You’ve said it already. Just yes. All of it.
Excellent post, Sarah. (I was reading and thinking, “Me TOO!”)
One of the great benefits of being six years down this homeschooling road is that I now know what works for my children– after a lot of experimentation with what does NOT work for them. *grin* And I’m so much more confident to stick to what I know is well-suited to us. I still like to read books on education or various blogs but I can take the one nugget that will work for us and leave the rest without guilt.
I know I am about a year late in commenting on this post ;O) But can I just say that this is possible the best and most helpful ‘homeschooling’ post I have read. I could have written it myself – been there done that! Finally – after 6.5 years of stressing, we have gone a bit more schoolie with A.C.E and my girls are loving – LOVING – it, as am I. I am so much more relaxed with them. Hope you don’t mind if I pin this onto ‘The Curriculum Choice’ Pinerest board – homeschool moms need to read this.
Dude, this is so me! I’m just starting out and I don’t want to mess it up. What’s more, I’m not really SURE what method(s) will work best for my kiddos so I can’t just pick the ONE style that fits their/our needs. I tend to lean towards unschooling… but the idea of something structured makes me feel more comfortable, more “official.” I hope I figure this thing out!
Thank you for this post! I could have written it. It has taken me 6 years, but I am only now ready to put down “the professionals” and follow a path that is right for my sons. Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one! Also, I am a blogging newbie and I LOVE your site. Thanks for the inspiration:)
We use Teaching Textbooks and we LOVE it. :)
Oh, I’m so jealous! Still searching for our groove. :) Would it be so counter-productive to ask what you use for Math? ;)
Fantastic post! This was me over the past couple of years (even before I started homeschooling). And you are right that it is so easy to fall in to a pattern of guilt rather than being able to take away what you need.
Hello! I’m new to your blog-I just “found” it through the Gypsy Mama’s link-up. I just LOVED this post. I can SO relate to this. I, too, am sucker for reading up on the “expert” advice on homeschooling and feeling guilt over my apparent failings. It’s just in the past year or so that I’m beginning to let go of the anxiety and really trust my instincts as a homeschooler, following my childrens’ leads. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has struggled with this! Thanks you so much for this post. We seem to have a lot in common! I, too, am a Catholic homeschooler of three. :) I look forward to reading more of your blog!
My children are grown now, but I homeschooled them all the way through high school. I wish I had read something like your post back then! Truer words were never spoken! Not only do we get confused and sidetracked by books by “experts”, but also by our own homeschooling friends. I came to the conclusion that what I wanted most was for my children to love to learn, and know how to find info about what they were interested in.
I read this linked from the gypsy mama. I’m a first year homeschooler, my oldest is just three, but this was good to read. I have a tendency to think I have to pick something and stick to it, come hell or high water. I must follow the ideals! I sometimes wonder if I’ll be able to successfully put the kids first, about methodology or my preferences. This was a good reminder, thanks.
Such a wonderful post. I’m a teacher rather than a mom, but I know this is something I am all too guilty of doing!
Cxx
Oh wow… nodding, nodding :) You really hit close to home with this one, it’s a keeper and moms everywhere are bookmarking it I know. Thank you for sharing your honest experience, Sarah!! (SO glad I am catching up on my reading here)
I absolutely could have written this post. I too have started coming to the realization that we don’t have to fit perfectly into any one philosophy of education. We do what works for us and that’s all that matters. Great post!
Thank you, Sarah, for another great post! I do the same thing and am starting (STARTING) to find that place of peace of doing what works for my own unique children. Even if that means giving them a (gasp!) workbook. As many faults there were in my own education I have to remember that there were some very good things in there as well so I can’t just reject things because it was what I did in school. And at some point I have to pick something and DO IT even if it’s not perfect. I linked to you on my sad little blog…hope you don’t mind!
oh my goodness I can relate. I do this to my self ALL THE TIME.
I just wrote a whole long thing talking in circles. Let me edit to say…. Yes. And thank you for this.
blessings,
Amanda
Fabulous post! I think I’m finally coming around to the place you are in, where I am gaining confidence to just be who we are as I watch my children flourish under their own styles of learning. It is such a blessing to know that there is no one-size-fits-all method, and to take what we like from the different educational idealogies and just run with them.
You have a beautiful blog!
Sister I have listened to some of your classes and I would LOVE to attend your home school. Love you so much!
You took the words right out of my mouth! Like yourself I spent WAY too much time before my first born was old enough to homeschool pouring over books and blogs…it truly made my head spin sooooo much that I found myself suffering from emotional and physical burnout 2 weeks before I was supposed to start her kindergarten year!! It was a very hard lesson to learn. I regret all the time I spent learning how to relate to my daughter instead of relating with her!! No more! A few years back I learned what you did…we need to pick and choose what works for OUR family and have enough faith in God and ourselves that were not trying to convince others that the new method we found is THE right way. That being said, I still like to read other moms’ blogs to find out what they’re doing for inspiration. I also enjoy reading books on the different methodologies so I can pick and choose ideas for my family.
I am a “newbie” homeschooler, having pulled my 12 and 10 year olds out of mainstream, end of last year. I don’t know ANY other system of homeschool, but the one I am following, the ACE system, as it is based on Scripture, which fits in with our faith. My biggest mistake, was believing I wasn’t as good as the “professionals” to teach my kids. I should have started this journey much sooner, followed the convictions of my heart. Today, my kids are settled, happy and filling in gaps in their learning. We like the “schooly” way of learning, but beauty of ACE is learning at your individual pace! God bless all you parents on this road x
Thank you for this! We also use ACE. We have 5children and its best for our family. I also felt I wasn’t as good as other homeschool families.
The TouchPad was named after IBM’s thinkpad line.Not really, but don’t let yourself fall into the “Apple has invented — and owns –everything” camp. Its not fitting of you.
mansuetude – but the titel is don’t turn around, I feel there is a difference, isn’t it (or is it just like that when you can’t speak english good enough?)?Sandra- det är priset man fÃ¥r betala (+försök själv klippa ut smÃ¥ händer fÃ¥r du se hur lätt det är ;)
. Your clarification was certainly the easiest to comprehend. I tell you, I typically grow irritated every time folks talk about issues that these people obviously don’t know about. You were able to hit the nail o…
DR. CLARISSA PINKOLA ESTÉS, Managing Editor of TMV, and Columnist Rcoutme, my family and i are holding you in prayer for recovery and strength and healing. That’s a promise. Hang in there. If you can comment on current affairs, you’re doing good …keep going. archangel/ dr.e
Ahora no toca merienda pero como buena bilbaina hago mi "hamaiketako" ,ese pequeño almuerzo de las once tan acostumbrado en mi tierra y para el que no podrÃa encontrar mejor invitación que la tuya,caprichos exquisitos en un ambiente inmejorable ,te sientas conmigo?…Te deseo una semana muy muy feliz ,no dudo de que la tendrás ,un abrazo enorme .
October 3, 2011 at 12:42 pmSrinivas,I totally agree with you here. It’s our mind that cannot stand being present. It is always anticipating the next big thing or worrying about the past.Being present rocks. Reply
It was wonderful.It is a good article,thank you for sharing it.More and more people like sports, because of sports can bring them the endless enjoyment. But I have one suggestion. when you exercise, you must choose suitable clothes.when you play .It is better to wear player jersey which you loved him.The and is the same important.The comfortable clothes ever,enough to make every day energetic.An active, energetic young man works like a tiger.
Well its now December, and the UFO community pretty much promised disclosure by now. Again, we find that its just yet another pipe dream from the deluded. Now I have to get in my space ship and go home to Alpha Centuri. See Ya nut bags.
Sarah,
So many of your posts just make me want to kiss my computer screen!LOL! I so love and appreciate your honesty and real-ness. I wish I knew you in real life (my children are approx the ages of yours and also girl/girl/boy/baby girl!) If you’re ever in Ontario Canada, you have a sister here!!
Sarah
I’ve thought and thought about your post:) Dh even read it and we had a lovely big discussion. You may have even inspired a blog post, as I certainly relate to alot of what you said, although my biggest mistake would push this one down to no3 mistake.
I needed to hear this. My oldest is three and I’m researching like MAD to choose a home schooling style. It can be overkill and it overloads my brain! But I’ve never heard of Reggio…so there’s something new to research! Haha.
This is perfectly and exactly my biggest mistake as well…I could not have stated it any better or differently (except for the Reggio bit, that is THE ONE method I haven’t heard of!).
“My nose was always stuck in a book; my face always turned toward a screen. I was so wrapped up in the how of teaching these children, that I wasn’t really meeting the needs of my actual children.”
Yep, that was me, seriously, until about 2 weeks ago. I finally made a decision to quiet all the voices and try to listen to OUR voices. I also love that you talk about “romantic ideas” of homeschooling….that’s EXACTLY what I was beginning to realize it was. Dreamy, wonderful days spent doing what I read about, when in reality our lives are nothing like the lives of the people whom I read about. I’m just recently beginning to shake off the guilt of not being someone else’s ideal of homeschooling.
I’m so grateful that you posted this, because it has reaffirmed exactly what I have been thinking/feeling/going through for the last several weeks!
Cari,
The fall tree made with dots is something I found on Pinterest (uh… let’s see… yes, here: http://pinterest.com/pin/340377961/). Basically I just drew a simple trunk (which they painted in brown with a paintbrush) and I drew a big circle in pencil. They used q-tips and fall colored paint to add dot leaves. It was simple! And fun! :)
This is such a good post, thank you for sharing and yes, for bringing some shine to the internet.
Yep. Well said and true. I think it was actually an advantage for me that I started the homeschooling thing WAY back before all the methods and even the internet happened. I had been a high school teacher – but from that and my university experience (teacher’s assistant and educational classes), I’d pretty much decided that theory is mostly bunk and bull.
What I learned bringing up my kids – teaching them literature and math and science and living and shopping and the arts – was this: the kid leads the learning. You see where you think they’re headed and try to jump a bit ahead to give them tools – and if they go another way, you change your plans entirely, never afraid to admit you were wrong, never afraid of dropping something when it was wrong.
Knowing you kids, and if you are a teacher, knowing your students is THE most important element. Each child’s brain works differently. Each comes to maturity in different areas at different times. Each has different gifts. One “method” will not fit all – if any.
We shouldn’t be “educators,” because that’s not what we really want to end up doing – ed-u-cating. We want to be guides along the way for intrepid explorers. We want to attract, inspire, amaze. That little flame of wonder each child carries in his hand when he is born? We are the protector and feeder of that light – not the bestower.
So good-on-ya. Well done. Well voiced. This is where the internet shines, with pieces like this.
Great post. I’m learning that our instincts coupled with keen observation of our actual children are a beautiful and simple path to teaching our children well.
Your blog is beautiful and I have to ask a bit more about the picture of your daughter creating a tree with dots. I’d love to hear how you went about this – looks like a lot of fun!
Thanks.
Cari
I was guilty of all of this too. If nothing else, it has made you able to have an intelligent conversation with every kind of homeschooler out there! You’re probably an “expert” in every type! I am so glad both of us have found our way out. Loved your post! :)
Oh, totally totally totally. In fact, I feel like our posts are complementary, because usually the “other families” I referred to seem to be successfully following a certain educational philosophy, even if they’re almost diametrically opposed to one another. Whereas I don’t seem to be designed to adhere to any one philosophy. With you in spirit, across the miles …
You are so right! There are so many things out there to read and try. Honestly I did some research and talked with a few people. Mostly, I jumped in and started swimming. My kids have been my guide to homeschooling. I just try to follow their lead and meet their needs and trust that we’ll be where we need to be! Good job! Hopped over from Simple Homeschool.
Hi! I found your blog through the Simple Homeschool link up and your post just hit it out of the park with me! My oldest child is 3 and I struggle with the exact same things. Over-reading, over-thinking and being easily swayed by whatever “expert” I’m reading at the time. The same has been true with me and discipline books/parenting philosophies. I’ve finally feel like I’ve got that under control but now that I’m planning to homeschool I can see the temptation coming up again. Thank you for your post. Excellent insight and wisdom!
Bear…
What a refreshing post! Your ‘discovery’ has merit in many other aspects of life. We all too often fall for what the “experts” say and then try to force our uniquely individual children into a mold. When we do, we get exactly that…mold. You can blame me for your tendency to (over)analyze. At least you got the gift of teaching from your mom! Hugs to my Cubs.
PB
Thank you so much for writing this! I am the mom of two little boys ages 1 and 3 and I plan to homeschool. I am “obsessed” with reading about Waldorf, Reggio, Montessori, CM, etc. and I am constantly changing my mind and trying to “fit in” to a theory. I am ready to relax and just take what I like about each one and make it work for us. Thanks again!
LOVED THE WHOLE THING!!! I am thankful I have a bit more time before I am pulling out my hair over what to do with my own Little and schooling! When we first decided to start trying for kids, I started looking up information about local schools! I think because we moved so much, my education was a bit “disjointed” even though I did well when I wanted to. I must admit even the idea of homeschooling is so intimidating to me! Our Catholic schools are some of the best schools in our area (even if I myself am not Catholic) and there is the constant discussion that public schools would do better if there was more parent involvement, whether simply at home or within the school. Education, I think, is a constant struggle for any parent wanting “the best” for their child, and I think you do an amazing job! I might be biased, but I think that through your trial and (we’ll just call it) “error” you have found what works for you and your family, and THAT is what is really important! Who knows, you may find things work differently in a year or two, but you have the knowledge to know how to transition! Happy learning!!!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while and don’t think I’ve commented, maybe once, but I wanted to tell you that this is right on!! ANd the same goes for discipline type books too! I wish I had never read some of the books I read with our first and had relied more on prayer and mine and my husbands gut. Maybe I’ll have to go check out the other posts on this subject too.
Oh, wow….we sound so much alike! I loved reading this, just to see that I’m not the only one who makes this mistake. It took me awhile to gain enough confidence, to take what I needed from the various philosophies and still individualize them to suit my kids.
I just read yesterday in one of my yoga books that in the beginning we should seek out information and guidance froma guru but after a time we need to do what feels right for ourselves, not follow an exact path of someone who has gone before. And you didn’t even read that Yoga book and you figured this out on your own! :)
Without instincts of my own I was much the same way before I found my groove. I guess I don’t see it as much of a mistake as an unfortunate but necessary part of the journey, but I do feel bad for my eldest guinea pig. I wish I had been better formed before I started raising children. At least I can help my children to be!
Awesome! I think we are at the same place Sarah, can I repost as my own, haha! So so true. I think going through all of that, this and that and more of this and that, that’s how we land where we need to be. I know I’ll think gosh if I just knew I wouldn’t have wasted…blah blah blah (this applies to a lot of things). But it’s certainly the journey that is needed too. Loving your photos too! Happy November to you!
Well said, Sarah!!
While I am not a homeschooler I could relate to this post as a parent! When I first became a mom I spent so much time reading about how to be the perfect mom according to Dr. Spock, Dr. Brazelton, LLL, Mothering Magazine and Attachment Parenting that I lost sight of what I felt was my most comfortable style of mothering as well as what really worked for my child. Thanks for reminding us all to simply pay attention to our own instincts and children first – then seek out the written advice.
Most most most excellent post. May be my favorite of yours ever.