How to Enjoy Homeschooling Just Because We Can!
In my earliest days of homeschooling, I had ideas about what our homeschool would actually look like. You know what I mean., right?
- Kids who don’t squabble with one another
- Kids who LOVE learning
- Days that run smoothly, with lots of “free time” for our family members to pursue their interests
Then we actually started homeschooling. And it just never looked quite like that initial vision.
I’m not sure why I thought we could always be right up in each other’s business without going crazy. But somehow, I overlooked the possibility that maybe I wouldn’t always enjoy this lifestyle.
In fact, there would be days when I barely liked this lifestyle at all.
Ten or twenty years down the road, if someone asks my kids what I was like when they were young, they may not answer the way I want them to.
Do my kids feel liked by me? Would they say that I love being around them?
I’m beet red right now, pondering the honest answer to those questions.
Recently, I was talking to my friend’s grown kids, who are 21-24 now. All the kids in her family were homeschooled through high school and are now pursuing their adult lives. I’ve asked those grown kids what their favorite memories were.
They started rattling off all kinds of things:
- “The day we went bowling when we were supposed to be doing math.”
- “The afternoon we spent at the nature preserve.”
- “That time mom surprised us with a hiking day in the middle of a school week.”
- “Mom reading aloud while we ate popcorn on the back porch.”
- “t”The movie marathon watching Lord of the Rings on a snowy January afternoon.”
Not one of them mentioned curriculum. Not one of them mentioned academic lessons. In fact, not one of them mentioned anything schoolish at all.
They all remembered memories that were focused on relationships.
This should come as no surprise, really. The relationships we forge with our children matter more than our homeschool curriculum, whether we studied history in 3- or 4-year cycles, or how far ahead (or behind) our child is in their math book.
Our relationships matter more than the books read, the test scores achieved, the tasks we checked off our lists.
See, a child who feels loved and delighted in will carry that with him long past his homeschooling years.
My friend was a rigorous homeschooler with high expectations for her kids. But sprinkled intermittently throughout each year were what they called Just Because We Can Days. Days they did something other than school, just because they could.
She knew that we have to be intentional about enjoying our kids. Otherwise, those relationships that we say are the most important factor in our lives fall by the wayside as we militantly check off our lists and steamroll our way through curriculum.
Enough is enough.
What we need is a Just Because We Can Day.
Here’s what to do:
Look at the next three months on your calendar. Choose any one day when school is on the docket. Cross it out, and schedule a JBWC Day instead.
See? Wasn’t that easy?
Now look at the following three months. Choose one more. And then the next three months. Choose one more.
Congratulations! You’ve scheduled three JBWC Days into your school year!
Now, how do we actually pull off this “Just Because We Can” business?
This is how it works-
- Your kids don’t need to know a JBWC Day is coming—only you do. On JBWC Day, surprise your kids after breakfast. Instead of telling them to haul out their math books, tell them it’s a Just Because We Can Day instead. “Today we’re doing something else. Just because we can!”
- The singular goal of a JBWC Day is to enjoy your children. That’s it. If all you do is delight in the presence of your kids, you have succeeded. Keep this top of mind. It’s harder (and more worthwhile) than it seems.
- No squeezing school into the cracks! You don’t get to choose to go to an Oregon Trail exhibit at the local museum on your JBWC Day when you *happen* to be studying Westward Expansion. Your singular goal, remember, is this: to enjoy your kids.
Twenty years from now, your kids may not remember specifics about a history, math, or spelling lesson. They’ll forget a whole lot of the details you’re stressed about right this very minute.
But they won’t forget the wonderful, warm, bonding memories you shared with them during a Just Because We Can Day.
They won’t forget the way they felt, knowing that you delighted in them. They won’t forget they were enjoyed by mama, right in the thick of it all.
They’ll know that you chose them over the to-do list.
You will never look back on these days and say, “I wish we had not taken that day at the beach (or the bowling alley, the skating rink, the hiking trail, etc). I wish we had crammed in more spelling. More math. More anything academic.”
I bet that 20 years from now, your future self would tell your today self, “Just enjoy them! You’re missing your chance to delight in who they are today. Right now.”
Homeschooling is about relationships, and of all the decisions you make this coming school year, the days you spend making that your top priority are when you get the most important thing right.
(If you share pictures of your JBWC Days on social media, tag it #JBWCday so we can find and be inspired by you!)
P.S. If you’re homeschooling kids 8 and under, make sure you know the six things you’ll never regret making time for.
Above everything else in homeschooling that is vying for our time and attention, I’m pretty convinced there is one question we should ask ourselves before our head hits the pillow each night. This is what it is.
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Wonderful! Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for thr reminder. I needed some one to relate to.
I want to be just like you when I grow up. Thank you for your insights, your energy and love that exudes from the pages of this blog and in your videos.
Hi Sarah, thanks for this article. I am about to begin our hs journey next year (we live in Australia, school year starts in February). I am both excited and scared in equal measure.
I have a question about reading aloud. We read aloud regularly to our children and often come across books and tv shows that glamorise school. Often school is pictured as something so exciting that reading them to our soon to be homeschooled children seem a little awkward. How do you explain to little children the reality of school may not be as fun as it looks on kids tv show or books and homeschooling can be fun too.
For example; in the book of Matilda. It mentioned somewhere along the line of Matilda looking longingly into the school where kids are shown playing together happily outside while she was outside of the fence feeling lonely (okay I think this was in the movie) and in the book it says how any sensible parents would have put her in school by now but her irresponsible parents neglected her education. I just dont want my small child to think that she misses out of school and we neglect her education.
Sorry for the long post. I think I need to pray for confidence.
I know this is from earlier this summer, but I just got to this post. I love it! I took out our 2017-2018 school calendar and just. did. it. Marked down three JBWC days and there they are! On the calendar, so now we are “required” to do them.
Thanks for another simple but awesome idea!
Woot! So glad you took action, Elana!
We are (officially) starting homeschooling this fall with our oldest son, and JBWCdays are like reason #4 we are doing it. Thanks for all the inspiration from RAR. Great work with your interviews!
We have these days often but also just before beginning a new school year we take one day and cram in all the fun we possibly can. This year all in the same day we went to the splash pad/park, chick-fil-a, had pics made, trampoline park, and finished up playing at the book store (a favorite for my kids). I let the kids choose whatever they want to do for this day.
Love it!
Thank you soooo much! This is exactly what I was noodling on for weeks–but had not solved. So easy — Love it! So appreciate you!
This reminds me of a comment my eldest made on her Mother’s Day picture at Kindy (before homeschooling time). It had a little paragraph that the teachers had scribed for her about me. It included ‘I love the day we spend together’. She was referring to a day I had put my uni study aside and asked her what she wanted to do. We ended up just going to the park and then McDonald’s for afternoon tea. I had no idea it was a big deal to her until I received that from her.
I must more effort to do that again and more often with the kids.
This was so important for me to hear, because for the last several weeks I’ve continually felt like “I just want them to leave me ALONE!” Then I feel guilty for feeling that way. We are in our 6th year of homeschooling now, and my kids know so much, and they love reading, and they’re unique and beautiful and wonderful, but I still want them to give me some peace. I’ve never felt so conflicted about anything in my life, and it’s making me feel crazy. maybe because I’m always trying to get the next thing done instead of caring about what’s going on with them.
What an awesome reminder. I did a lot of JBWC days when my daughters were younger, but I think my lone at-home highschooler would still enjoy them don’t you?
Where’s that pesky calendar…
You’re lovely as ever Sarah – in every way!
Thanks for this!! I need to be enjoying my kids more this year. Yes to relationships first!
Thank you for this…thank you! It was a pleasure to meet you at FPEA this summer. You inspire so many of us! May God bless you!
Thank you for the reminder! Love your heart!
Thank you! What a wonderful suggestion. :)
Our first day of school a couple of years ago was going blueberry picking. It was awesome! Last year our first day was a trip to the NYS Fair with my grandmother, their great-grandmother, just because we could. We’re doing the same this year! I have already scheduled some JBWCdays into the year this year and I’m excited! We also want to plan a Yes Day! based on the book Yes Day! by Amy Krouse where I say yes to their requests, with a few limits. I can only imagine what a day like that would be like!
This was super helpful as I am taking a leap of faith.
Wow! I really need it to read this. I am still new in home school 4 years with intense curriculum and not ready for simmer to be over. But this is a great motivation for next week , when we start school again! Wow. I am just amazed! Thank you.
I have tried to do this but we go to a co-op and my oldest who is very type A gets upset because she says “now I have to do extra work tomorrow”. (The coop gives daily work)Should I just take some things and tell her she doesn’t have to do them at all that week? Or maybe plan this on week without coop?
Ps she is my kid who does extra math in the summer just to get ahead even without me saying anything!
It might work for her to just do the co-op work before or after the other activities…or just wait for a week without co-op!
Sarah, thanks. However one complain in my house is that “there is no friends to play with.. they are at their own hisses or at school”
Any feedback?
I’m ready to commence my 19th, and last, year of homeschooling. I’ve graduated three (first one thinks he raised and educated himself but the others have genuine appreciation for the schooling I gave them–as does my last one. To be fair, #1 is 6.5 years older than the next and my last three were all schooled together for the most part). JBWC days are great but I suggest they don’t be scheduled as separate days but part of any or every day where there’s opportunity. Every day can become a JBWC day when opportunity arises. Carpe diem! This is why my resident senior will not complete his senior year until the end of August this year, though it was “scheduled” to end in June. Too many other wonderful, unplanned things arrived on the scene. Then it was spring and we needed to plant the garden, and then, and then . . . Who says we have to stop in June? We are beholden to no one’s schedule. The freedom of homeschooling is the absolute most cherished treasure of it all. We are free to be the family we believe God made us to be. What joy!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Kathy! It is a balm to hear from mamas who have graduated children!
Thanks Sarah for this great reminder! We just completed our 20th year of home schooling with only 9 more to go. It is so true what you have shared. It really blesses me to hear my adult children share their school day memories. We always called it life school. “20% academics and 80% life”. Enjoy your heart so much! May the Lord continue to bless you in this journey.
It’s easy for type A people to get bogged down in the “to do” lists. Thanks so much for this very important reminder.
I absolutely love and needed this idea. I am starting the home school journey for the first time Monday. I can be so focused on getting things done that I truly needed this reminder of the important things. I will be adding the fun days in my calendar. 😊 Thank you! P.S. Would you have any advice for a beginning homeschooling mom? I have three kiddos (5 1/2, 3, 2).
This year we have done a monthly Day of Adventure – Daddy takes a day off work and we go out somewhere as a family. We have done swimming, movies, walks, beach, castles, even visiting a nuclear bunker! Next time we’re going to camp out on one of our fields.
I Did a field trip every Friday the year I homeschooled my last child. That’s what she remembers most. We would go with another family, but sometimes we would just take adventures. Wonderful memories.
Great article. Thank you for writing and publishing it. A little about my story is here based on your question about ideas for JBWC Days.
When we were kids myself, my older brother and my mother (my mother was widowed) set out on the road. My Mom had bought a motorhome we dubbed “The Big White Elephant”. She set up correspondence coursework for us having one of my Aunt’s send a huge box of our school materials for an entire month ahead to us to General Delivery through the mail at a pre-arranged location. We then just set on the road. Over 40 years ago there were no computers, cellphones or flat screen televisions with DVD’s. We did have a CB radio, roadmaps, a compass and the desire to just go explore North America. We have a lot of great memories and some not so hot ones too.
In the mornings after breakfast we would work on our assignments. We usually spent a few hours a day on school work or some months we were able to get our entire monthly work done in a week then spend the rest of the month as JBWC days. We always had books to read or local information we would pick up about different areas we visited. We made scrap books. I am pretty sure my brother and I were Jr. Rangers at most of our National Parks.
My brother and I were tasked with reading the maps as the co-pilots and plotting our course to wherever we decided to go. We had a CB radio to listen and talk to truckers also on the road as well, so we had fun making up our “call sign names” for the CB. It was useful for information about what road conditions were like wherever we were headed to or where a “Smokie” was so as to watch our speed to avoid a ticket. Of course as co-pilots we had to look at the maps and chart alternate routes at times or do so JBWC. My Mom could drive the Big White Elephant anywhere! We had AAA thankfully.
My favourite memory was when my Grandmother came to spend a few weeks with us as Gypsy’s on the road. My mother surprised us all by driving night and day to make it to the Grand Canyon to watch the sunrise on my Grandma’s Birthday. We then travelled south through Flagstaff, AZ and the Sedona Valley. That was a special time. My Grandma enjoyed the areas immensely and we always have these memories.
Incidentally with the support of my mother and older brother, those school years were the best. It was the first time I got an A+ on my assignments. I was able to follow along and learn the materials at my own pace, in my own way that best suited my learning style. These were the best of times.
Wonderful advice!!👊🏻
3 a year?!!!! Why limit yourself? Why not have a Just-because-we-can event every week? Not an entire day … but an event. Little things like … instead of doing our science CURRICULUM today, we’re going to watch a few Shark Week shows JUST BECAUSE WE CAN. Instead of doing our work at the kitchen table, we’re going to head to the lake and do it on the beach JUST BECAUSE WE CAN.
After homeschooling eight children for 16+ years at this point, I would say it’s important to have these moments waaaaaaaay more often than three times a year … or a few times a semester. In fact, they should be one of the bulwarks of your home education! JOY!
So I up you one, Sarah! :-) I challenge your readers to do one every week! Definitely every month!
I homeschooling two grandchildren that live with me. I’ve had to constantly fight with relatives over this decision. The children have learned more, are more happy, and I’m exasperated from constant unwanted criticism. I have a dual Masters in Psychology/Sociology, and a Master’s in Public Safety. I know there are others being persecuted for homeschooling.
This is a great idea and nice way to bring a fun day to each term! I think when we as moms get into the we need to do this and that mind frame of the school year we tend to drive our kids and ourselves a little crazy. My 9 yr old was just making fun of me this morning for changing up some of our plans for a 3rd time and we start lessons in 2 weeks! :)I was wondering when do the regular podcasts start back up?
Late September we are going to an amusement park one weekend. Rides and Christian music day all day long!
November early we are going to a local War reenactment here in SC.
Starting 9 grade this year and our 7 th year of homeschooling!
It’s so true that relationships matter more than academics, and a JBWC day sounds so fun! However, in my home, we have emotionally fragile children mixed with emotionally healthy children, and having a random JBWC day throws the fragile ones into a heap of mess which makes the rest of the family crazy, too. Instead we have scheduled special days that we prepare the kids for–breakfast at the park, Wild Days, zoo outings with Dad, etc. We still make memories, and we still nurture relationships, but we nurture them in a way that works for us.
Thank you for sharing a post articles that are beneficial to the reader. I really enjoyed reading your blog, by reading blog made me become very inspired and gain knowledge
So good…been challenged of late to be more fun, not just aademics, this is the encouragement I needed to make it happen. Thank you
We “earned” a day whenever we had good days and accomplished the tasks at hand we had a marble jar for a day of his choice… it started out well, but the jar was moved (actually we changed the placed we schooled and the jar was left behind) but this year we are having weekly meetings about the good the bad and the ugly and how to make it better… and we have a new jar, with a new place(where happiness and joy have filled the room in the past and the rule is no anger enters this peaceful place… it has to be taken elsewhere…) to have school that we BOTH set up… and the jar is on the center f the table… and days without arguments will get that jar filled so we can have our JBWC day… we go to a local rock climbing gym…or the pool or a movie… or we build an epic building together on minecraft. Here hoping that it works. Sarah, i have listened to teaching from rest twice in the hopes that I can put it in my heart. its been a rough year this past year… and Im on this road alone so I need all the help I can get… between your podcast and Bravewriter, I made it through and am healing myself before I begin again. Thank you from the bottom of my battered heart.
Instead of making your kids earn a JBWC day, try just giving them one (FOR NO REASON!). I’ve got seven kids, and I find amazing and positive behavior for at least a week due to JBWC days. I actually work in at least two a month. Please, just give it to them, even if they act up just before leaving! GO! Enjoy them.
Our first year of home school was last year. We retired from the Army, moved from Kansas to Hawaii, became a missionary family, and started home schooling. Academics and our school experience had gone well previously, I just didn’t feel like I knew my kids very well any more. With all the changes I thought homeschooling would be the best way to navigate all of the emotions and to get to know them again. It was one of the hardest years of our lives, but we made it and are trying it again. Reading your post was encouraging as I prepare for the new year and have been wondering if I’m crazy for taking on year two! RELATIONSHIPS-This is why we are doing it! Bonus- Thanks for a clever name for our fun days. JBWC! Love it! Army families LOVE acronyms!
Will be praying for your year! I don’t think it ever looks quite like we imagine, and you had a lot of transitions happening all at once. I hope you have a great year!
I LOVE this and I LOVE the delight of surprising the kids. Great great idea! I especially love the reminder about homeschooling being about relationships. I get bogged down with the curriculum!
Some ideas I thought of:
Rent social bikes and bike anywhere in the city!
Dance Party.
Video game marathon together!
Go Joy Bombing (we did this twice…once at a hospital I had been a patient at previously and another time at a local library…..we handed out candy canes and wished strangers a Merry Christmas mid-December).
Joy-bombing. I love that image. :)
I’ve graduated two of my three children and totally agree that the most memorable days were the “just because we can days” We would take a day off every fall on the first blustery day of the year. They would come out of their rooms, see the wind and the rain and run back in to put their pajamas back on and I would load up “The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh in the DVD player. I loved your post. It brought back good memories and reminded me of some of the good gifts homeschooling gave to my children.
We have an unwritten rule in our homeschool: Any day the temp is over 70 from October through April is an automatic day off, just because we can. We might go to the (empty) playground or to the (empty) beach or anywhere, as long as we enjoy the sunshine.
BRILLIANT.
Love love love this idea!!! We already do this in a way. But JBWC makes it so much more fun!
Was just pondering what it´s going to be like to start homeschooling 2 this year after the arrival of our third two weeks ago. I got overwhelmed quickly… but this was a beautiful reminder of why we chose to homeschool in the first place. Thank you!
Congratulations on your new one!
Less! Less! Less! Just do less than you think you need to do. Your kids will learn so much from having a baby in the house- way more than they could get from a stack of books. Promise. 😘 Congrats on the new little one!
I already have one in mind to go visit April the Giraffe once school is back in session (the zoo is about 30 minutes from my house)
Love this reminder. My son loves these days and will remind me we need another one. who doesn’t love to play. Me too.
I soooooo needed to hear this today! Tears in my eyes…. This is the desire of my heart–to make heart connections– the academic part will fall into place, it always does. Thank you!!! You are such an encouragement!
This article was fantastic. I am seriously academic with my boys, and I often look back and wonder where are all the fuzzy memories? I did a deep evaluation (of me) at the end of this past school year (we school on a traditional school calendar pattern) and knew I wanted to make some changes. I love them and want to foster those amazing relationships (grow the special ones we already have). This is such a great idea, and definitely something my mom did with me as a private school girl. Thanks again!
This was a wonderful way to wake up this morning! I am so excited to schedule JBWC days for my children and I throughout the year. I have a hard time taking time off from our regimented school schedule, but soooo miss my relationship with my children during the school year that now I can’t wait to start! Thanks again for the purposeful idea. Playing with my children is an internal goal of mine that has not been met as much as I would have liked the last 2 years of homeschooling. But this year, it will be!
I am so the same way! It is always so good to read other comments that affirm the same things you’ve been going through. You’re doing a great thing, mama! Keep going!
I have a hard time playing with my kids, too. Putting it on the calendar makes it happen more often, though. ❤️
You are absolutely right! To add to your list. Play chess and have milk shakes at Dairy Queen (in Canada). It draws a crowd and makes the game more attractive to your kid.
What a wonderful idea, Diane!
Thank you Sarah for pointing out a common sense thing that sometimes we busy homeschool agenda oriented mom’s forget.
We are relational creatures created by our great Lord who desires us to have a personal relationship so of course JBWC days are perfect for building relationships between parent and child.
You blessed my day thank you!
And I look forward to scheduling a few of those great days throughout the year!
God Bless you!
AS one who is more task then people oriented, this is perfect for me! Thank you! We will be doing this for sure!
Awww, I absolutely love this and I needed to read this. When I’m neck deep in schedules and calendars, it’s easy to forget why I chose to homeschool. Going to Funworks on a random midweek morning might be my kids favorite homeschooling memory. It might be one of my favorite memories too! Or park day (with donuts) probably ranks high on the list as well.
Yes, I’m knee-deep in planning too and need to schedule a few donut mornings!
We have done a handful of things on your list with my youngest. And when my middle child was in elementary school, I would call her in sick once in a great while, though she wasn’t sick. She would stay home and we would hang out. On one of those occasions, I had my hubby take the day off to stay home with the littlest so my middle and I could go to the soft opening when the opened the AG Doll store in the MOA. We were so excited to finally have a store that was local to us that I had this planned months in advance to surprise her.
Sarah, once again you have blessed my children and me!! As I am putting the final touches on our curriculum, panicking over am I doing enough, reminding myself to “teach from rest”, this is PERFECT!! God has blessed me with these precious souls and I need to be reminded to rest in Him through loving and nurturing my kiddos, Because at the end of the day, if they love God, know they are loved by Him, and know they are the most precious gifts to their mama my heart will sing!!
Thank you again! I’m looking forward to lots of memorable JBWC days!!
Blessings,
Renee
So glad, Renee. I bet you’re in for a great year!
Oh, Sarah! Thank you so much for this post! I’m struggling with my planning this year and one of my kids will be in his senior year and I so want to enjoy this last year of homeschooling with him. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Just what I needed to hear!! Thank you!
Well, there you go…making me all teary on a Tuesday morning. I had scheduled these in last year, but never actually did them. :( This needs to change for this coming year.
I love this! With my oldest daughter we would occasionally have Read In Bed Days. Usually when the weather was nasty we would get a huge pile of books and read in Mommy and Daddy’s bed for hours. My youngest daughter, who was not born then, would think this a death sentence! LOL She does, however, love our First Day of School Field Trip that we take with another family! Some of our best memories!!
Read in Bed Days sound divine!
Read in Bed all day?! Oh we are so doing that this year!
THIS is going on the calendar for some gloomy winter days…genius!!
I LOVE this article! I am a 67 year old grandmother who has learned by the years she has lived that this is spot on advice. And, because I am a grandmother, I think a GREAT JBWC activity should be a trip to Grandma’s to bake sugar cookies and have a tea party or spending the day with Grandaddy giving the child a driving lesson in a big open field OR even on the road if the child is old enough with a learner’s license! Of course, these activities could be changed to suit the child but I am just speaking from my own lifestyle here! Ok, ok, just boil it down to a “trip to Grandma’s and Grandaddy’s house!”
Love this idea! Wish my kids grandparents were closer!
Love it!
Love this, Jean! ❤️
That’s awesome!! You are amazing!!
My youngest daughter, Grace -age 7, just spent 8 days with my parents in East Texas. They were visiting us in South Dakota and offered to take her back with them to spend time at their home. Her sister, Sarah -age 11, had already been invited to spend that time with her best friend, also home-schooled, in Kansas. My parents thought it would be a great opportunity for them to get to spend time with Grace. Isaac, their baby brother -14 months, got to have some surprise one-on-one time with mom and dad.
We ended up having a JBWC week and a half. I can’t remember when was the last time that I heard my girls sound so full of joy and so happy. They called regularly to keep in touch. It has been such a blessing. Grandparents are a blessing and JBWC time will now be a regular part of our Homeschool lives.
So far, every first day of school has begun with a fun field trip–just because we can. And we typically end our year with a field trip as well. My kids love it and know that in public school this wouldn’t be the case so they enjoy it a little bit more.
I love this idea! One year, we planted flowers on the first day of school but they never bloomed so I am reluctant to try that again. Maybe a field trip is a better plan! ;)
We totally do this too! I love going to the museums when everyone else is back to school and their field trips haven’t begun yet. It’s so empty and quiet!
Thank you so much for sharing this! We’ve been homeschooling for seven months and I think it’s due time for us to have a JBWC day.
Sarah, you have just blessed my day with the absolute best pre-school year advice I have EVER received! Cheers to many memorable JBWC days!