Being Ourselves – Classical Homeschooling for Normal Moms
Does your classical homeschool look just like mine? It probably doesn’t. Actually, it probably shouldn’t!
It’s helpful to remember that a classical liberal arts education won’t look the same from one home to the next.
Awhile back, I posted on my blog that the biggest homeschooling mistake I’ve made yet is overthinking methods and philosophies.
I’m not sure I’d still say that’s my biggest mistake (I’ve made some other doozies since I wrote that), but it’s surely one of the bigger things that have tripped me up as a homeschool mom.
In that post, I wrote:
For awhile there, I was unable to read a book on any method without feeling like I needed to change something in our homeschooling, even if everything was going fine. I neglected to do what worked and follow my instincts, in favor of following a particular model or educational pioneer….
If I had spent those hours watching my children and following my instincts instead of reading up on this or that educational philosophy, I would have reaped greater rewards far sooner. My children would have received a better education, and I would have been a happier, more content homeschooling mother.
The great temptation when reading about other peoples’ homeschools is to think that because something worked for someone else, it ought to work for you, too.
We are all at a different place, and that’s okay. Actually, it’s more than okay- it’s wonderful! Each of our circumstances are different from each other’s in some small (or not so small!) way, and it’s a good idea to keep that in mind as we share our stories here.
Though the principles of a classical education weave through our homes as a common thread, they may manifest themselves in different ways.
Some of us memorize timeline facts, others don’t.
Some allow our children to play on iPads and computer games, others don’t.
For some, making something visually beautiful is second nature; for others, it’s not on our radar at all unless we intentionally make it so.
We choose different classics, prioritize different subjects, and organize our days differently from one another.
We’re all coming from a different perspective after all, and are motivated and inspired by different facets of the liberal arts tradition.
The big thing we ought to remember is that we can be ourselves.
There is a lot of beauty and goodness in embracing who we are and where we are at on our own journey.
Sarah,
Your book, blog, podcasts, and talks at homeschooling conferences has been such a blessing to me! I feel that I am becoming a more peaceful mama! Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to be a blessing!
What are your thoughts about Classical Conversations?
Thank you!
Raymond Moore’s book _Better Late Than Early_ set the tone for our approach to our son’s formal education. It is only by God’s grace that I am thoughtful and deliberate about what activities we do and what ‘formal’ learning I introduce. At his age/stage…I’m thrilled with the exposure he has to all things beautiful through Classical Conversations; our read-aloud time; and the way I’m (mostly) able to keep “Their Journey/Curriculum Is Not Our Journey/Curriculum” in mind.
This is a great post, but I am currently trying to re-vamp and essentially turn our homeschool on its head a bit. So in a way, I am in an exploratory mode. I am more than a bit nervous as I step away from my curriculum that I have known for the past 7+ years.(MODG) I am having a little anxiety–or a lotta–over the jump, and wondered if anyone who has walked that path has any tips on how to brave these waters of self doubt(I mean, if I do aincients with my 3rd grader instead of US history, will she end up getting enough US history, as MODG does it 3 years straight!!), and also some tips to instituting Morning Time in a way that the “check list” anxiety won’t creep in? Does this make sense?
Well , checklist anxiety still creeps in for me. :) I have to constantly reassess and remind myself of my own principles. (I just posted a talk about that- it’s linked at the end of htis comment, if you’re up to listening while you unload the dishwasher or whatever. :)
Have you read Laura Berquist’s Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum? She wrote that before she created the syllabi for MODG, and I think it’s helpful in reminding us that there is no real definitive reason why a student must study a certain time period at a certain time (or other particulars).
She gives the reasons why she chose certain periods of time for certain ages, but she also helps the reader understand the principles she used to determine what to study and when so that they could use those principles to craft a plan that looks a bit different from the one at MODG. :) Might be helpful.
All that said, I think you could definitely continue using MODG if that makes you feel less anxious. It’s such a good curriculum, and Laura Berquist always speaks at the CiRCE conferences and shares about what a rich and lovely program it is. :) A peaceful mama is what will help your homeschool flourish most, I think.
I, too , am better at seeing all the negative stuff about our homeschool days. But as I was updating my memory work binder recently, it was encouraging to see all the poems and Bible passages we’ve memorized in the past few years. We’ve also enjoyed many books together! :)
That long view is so encouraging, I think. :)
One strength here is that we have consistently had read alouds in our homeschool since we started four years ago. My weakness is that I have set aside beauty for a “get it done” attitude because my older children (who attended public school) were more of that mindset. I have not helped them develop a taste for beauty (in art, literature, etc.) So we have a lot of work ahead of us and I realize that I may not ever fully redeem this but we are going to put forth the effort!
I was describing my struggle to be more consistent to our friend, Fr Matthew, when he pointed out that I might not be as consistent as I’d like to be in everyday things but that I am perfectly consistent in the things that matter most. It was a lovely surprise to reflect of his observation and see that he was right!
I know that one thing that we’re doing well is reading aloud often and having lots of conversations about what we read. We take our time with the books we choose and read them over and over if that’s what they want. Spending time with good books rather than rushing through has really borne a lot of fruit.
My strength is flexibility, though that wasn’t always true. It was hammered into me during some difficult years. If I hadn’t learned to get rid of perfectionism and to embrace flexibility, we would have had to quit homeschooling a long time ago. Also, although being stubborn has worked against me at times, it has also helped me to stay committed to priorities. If I order our home around our priorities, I’ve found that the important things still get done no matter what hits us. (I’ve had days in which survival was all that was accomplished, but that’s pretty important. ;) ) Flexibility has helped me to be more creative in pursuing the needs and wants–the priorities–of our homeschool, working within the various constraints that have come our way.
God has definitely used homeschooling to prune and grow me, and every day is an adventure. I have really enjoyed the posts here. They’ve been encouraging to read and reflect on while I prep for the new school year. :)
Me too! Me too! Me too! :) Having so many little ones underfoot has definitely helped me become more flexible- not because I’ve actively pursued it like a virtue, but because if I didn’t become more flexible, I’d have lost it long ago. :)
I need to look at the big picture plan in order to feel productive. If I just look at what we got done today, then I get discouraged. If I look back on the month (or even better, the year), I’m always pleasantly surprised by how much we managed to fit in.
I love how you say that God has used homeschooling to prune and grow you. Yes, me too.
I think the process of discernment in homeschool is one of the main challenges for me. Like many of us, I get inspired (and simultaneously distracted) by new ideas and methods for schooling. It is a daily discipline to listen to God about homeschooling. What ideas should be central to our schooling? What ideas should we try? What ideas need to be shelved for another day? And when do we need to just stick with our current program?
The things that have consistently worked well for us are
1) lots of reading aloud
2) regular field trips to museums (we live in Chicago, so there are lots of wonderful options)
3) not being overly scheduled and rushed (this last one is definitely a work in progress)
I’m so glad for the community here at Schole Sisters. I’m looking forward to continued inspiration and help in my discernment process!
The not being overly scheduled and rushed is definitely a constant-work-in-progress thing for me, too. I struggle because I want to fit in all the things that I think are worth our time and attention. It’s hard!
I really feel like you all have really opened my eyes to Classical Education. My mindset has been that “classical homeschoolers” do Latin, Timeline memory work and study History in chronological order. Since I don’t do those things, I have stayed away from this world (that and because most that I have met have had a bit of a superiority complex). You all have really challenged my assumptions and shown me that I AM more classical than I thought :)
I’m glad you are setting the tone of Schole Sisters with this post. I struggle so intensely with comparison and envy, and in the last few months, God has been showing me just how insidious and evil they can be. My reaction needs to be more than just: “Oh this isn’t good, I shouldn’t think this way.” It needs to be repentance and full-on rejection of sinful thoughts. I recently read this, from *Ruthless Trust* by Brennan Manning: “The spiritual woman does not fret and flap over opportunities missed, does not hammer herself for not working hard enough, and does not have a panic attack wondering whether she has received grace in vain. She lives in quiet confidence that God is working in her by day and by night. Like the farmer, she is not totally passive or presumptuous. The woman knows that she has her full measure of work to do, but she realizes that the outcome rests with God and that the decisive factor is unearned grace” (pp. 129-30).
I’m just about to “officially” start homeschooling, so I’m not sure what I do well already. I think we live in the poetic mode quite a bit–we cook together, garden together, and we have several awesome museums and parks nearby with very interactive learning opportunities. Bringing beauty into the home comes naturally to me, though I’ve benefited from you guys in this area! I used to try really hard to subdue that instinct, thinking it was vain, but I have a new vision for reflecting God’s image through this part of my personality.
_Ruthless Trust_ sounds like a book that I need to read. Thank you for sharing this quote.
I highly recommend it, along with its predecessor *Ragamuffin Gospel,* but keep a dictionary handy. He loves big words.
I have so many areas to grow in. What I’m doing well in… I’m trying. :) I’m growing, and my children are growing–even if I can’t always see the incremental steps.
I’m struggling to see the areas that I am doing well in right now, other than to say, I’m really good at seeing what I *don’t* do well. I was a traditionally trained teacher and have been slowly shedding the “school at home” approach in an effort to “home educate.” It is extremely difficult. I want to embrace more classical approaches, but feel overwhelmed by so many of the ideas. I’m praying for a different year.
Amanda,
My heart goes out to you. I understand the overwhelmed feeling. Homeschooling is a huge undertaking, and then add classical education on top of that and it can be mind numbing at times. I want to encourage you to not feel like you have to do it all right away. Christopher Perrin says that we should be on a 5 year plan to figuring this all out. Our culture has lost the classical tradition for some years nows, and we can’t get it back overnight. Do what you can, learn what you can, and enjoy the process. I’m speaking this to myself, too.
I love hearing that about the five-year-plan! I have always heard that traditional school teachers need three years to figure things out, and now that I’m coming to the end of three years in our own homeschool, I’ve been feeling worried that I don’t have all the kinks worked out. Five years of grace to create a culture of classical education sounds excellent. Or maybe I should just cut right to the gospel and give myself a lifetime of grace? :)
Around here I always start the planning stages using The Well-Trained Mind, by Susan Wise Bauer. I get so inspired by it. I make these grand plans and try to fit it all in. On paper, the time commitment doesn’t look possible and by the end of the month I feel as though we are behind already. The thing that really does work for us is the read alouds. I choose the books we read aloud and they have all been really really great, except Mr. Popper’s Penguins. That was painful to me. :) The thing I really want to focus on this year (apart from the basics of course) is art. I have really dropped the ball on that one. These posts of yours have been so inspiring to me. The only difference here is that we are not Christians so the talk of biblical things doesn’t really apply. We are Classical homeschoolers nonetheless. Keep up the great work ladies.
And you are welcome, too, Michelle. We’re glad you’re here!
Michelle, I struggle with the same issue of trying to cram too much into our paper schedule!
Mr. Popper’s Penguins was painful for me as well. Ohsovery painful. ;)
I am so relieved to hear that someone else thought that about Mr. Popper’s Penguins! Reading it aloud once was enough for me. I’ve put it in the reading baskets, so it’s available if anyone wants it, but I *refuse* to read it again. :)
Sarah, thank you for this wonderful and encouraging post! Thank you so much for pointing out that a classical education is going to look different in each family. I love this statement you made: “The big thing we ought to remember is that we can be ourselves. There is a lot of beauty and goodness in embracing who we are and where we are at on our own journey.”
Sarah, you asked the question, “What are you already doing well?” I’m really good at recognizing where I fall short and not so good at patting myself on the back, so I almost didn’t comment on this. However, I do recognize the one thing I have done well was to introduce my kids to quality literature. I started homeschooling 17 years ago and feel so blessed to have encountered authors such as Karen Andreola, Rea Berg, and Sally Clarkson that encouraged me to read aloud and offer the best books to my family. There are many ways this has aided my children in their education. One is vocabulary. My oldest daughter, a voracious reader and now 19, has an amazing vocabulary. I know whenever I come across a word that I don’t know I can always ask her, and she will know it, no matter how obscure. She has never completed a vocabulary workbook or studied Latin, but she has read and enjoyed vast amounts of excellent literature. Reading good books is the one thing I know I will stick with to the end of my homeschooling adventure and, hopefully, get to enjoy with grandkids. :)
What is working in our family? Poetic knowledge is alive and well here. I was thinking about that yesterday as the kids swam in the creek finding frogs, minnows and clam shells.
Due to Morning Time, we also have regular doses of beauty displayed through literature, Shakespeare, poetry, art and music. MT also is the stage for discussions of the Great Ideas. I am hoping this year, after listening to Jenny Rallens’ talk on the Art of Memory, that we will be able to dive deeper into virtue.
I am also learning how to take these principles and adapt them to each of my children. My oldest has commented that she enjoys more of a workbook approach to learning. I admit that that bothered me as I have spent the last ten years learning how to give her a non-workbook education but I looked around and found how to still do the Great Books with her by using a workbook-like approach. So she will do that while the other two and I will continue on with how we have always done literature.
Since I’m honestly not sure how the Classical paradigm plays out in the pre-academic years, my answer to your question would have to be that we are getting outside and playing in the dirt. We don’t get out as much as this perfectionists mama would like to see, but I also know that we get out a lot more than many families in this modern culture.
Playing in the dirt is quite a feat for us, too, considering that up until last month, my older son would come to me, anxious and distressed, if his shirt became wet, his hands were muddy, et cetera, because he has some sensory processing issues. Just last month, he came inside, declared “Hands dirty!” and upon receiving my usual response of, “That’s great! Go back out and play some more,” he actually… did. In the past, he would have remained and begged for help to change the offending element, before going back to what he was doing. <3
I know it sounds small, but to a mama who grew up in the outdoors and firmly believes in appreciating God's Creation by getting down and dirty in it, this was huge. It counts as something in our Classical journey, right?
Oh, yes, it counts! Well done!
Playing in the dirt is the best preschool there is!
I agree with Mystie! Preschool = dirt. :)
Having home schooled for more than twenty years I certainly identify with the longing for the perfect day, the perfect curricula, the perfect day, and most wantingly, the perfect woman at the helm. After all, who does not tire of putting one’s head on the pillow and silently weeping?
Here is what I now do well: I recognize the insidious enemy called stress and strive to do the things that care for me in order to keep it out of my home. And, when it arrives anyway, we are now habituated to caring for the one affected and turning to “good spirit.”
I also insist on lots of play…I have come to understand the multidimensional importance of play (all ages) and the role it has in increasing intimacy and good will.
How very fortunate for my grandchildren I currently homeschool, as well as for my youngest three, that Wisdom has graced our home…at least some of the time!
Blessings,
Gail
Sounds like your grandchildren are pretty fortunate to have you guiding their education. :) What a gift!
I, too, love this. I always tell my children, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I want to celebrate what we are doing well and rejoice with others about the things they are doing well! So here are a few things I take joy in for our homeschool:
My children love to learn and will actively self-teach or seek out a mentor. I’m not the fountainhead of knowledge pouring out small bits of approved learning to them. They thirst to learn, grow, and explore and are not afraid of trying new thing.
My children are blind to difference. They do not see a child with a wheelchair or who speaks differently or dresses differently as ‘other’, they simply welcome them into their circle to play, talk, and explore. Having a brother with medical needs they are also sensitive to accessibility and have no qualms about finding ways to make things work. Are they heading up in a treehouse? Great, they’ll carry anyone who needs carried up. Are they playing games outside? They’ll include the crawling baby as easily as the nonverbal elementary age child or the pierced and tattooed teen. They just don’t have the preconceived ideas I know I learned at public school of different is other and should be excluded.
Children who do not see the “other” are such a blessing….that is on of the biggest and most beautiful benefits of raising children in an environment that allows them to socialize outside of their peer group. Congratulations on your children! It is something I appreciate about my daughter, as well.
I appreciate this so much. There are times I love batting around ideas and gleaning info from others but there are times when I need to put my homeschool blinders on and just do what I know works well and makes sense for US. I think I follow my gut well and as they get older, I think I’m pretty good at Socratic style discussion. But there’s a whole lot I need to improve as well :)
On a different note, I finally got Schole Sisters to work through Feedly and realize I’ve missed a lot!
I really like the “homeschooling blinders” metaphor! It helps me to have images like that when I am trying to say no to the sinful nature, something to put on and take off at the right times.
Yes, totally. I’m finding myself there right now, in fact. There are so many wonderful things I really want to incorporate into our homeschool, but then I’m faced with reality and…. well, I need to put on my blinders or I’ll end up disheartened.
Improving at Socratic discussion is something I’m very much needing to learn!
I really appreciate that you emphasize that classical education will look different for each of us. And…that’s not a bad thing. How each of us chooses to feed our families is not going to be all the same, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t nourishing them. Education is likewise, it will vary from family to family. At times it will vary even within our own families due to life circumstances, seasons, and different children. God through his word and nature has reveled to us so many wonderful things, full of wisdom. Things like classical education are a wise set of principles with endlessly creative ways to apply them : )
Love your comment Melissa! I especially like your statement: “Things like classical education are a wise set of principles with endlessly creative ways to apply them.”
I agree. :)
I am so enjoying all the lovely wisdom you ladies are sharing on this blog. It truly feels like a breath of fresh air! Thank you.