Sarah (00:08):
You’re listening to the Read Aloud Revival podcast. I’m your host, Sarah MacKenzie, homeschooling mama of six and author of The Read Aloud Family and Teaching from Rest. As parents we’re overwhelmed with a lot to do. It feels like every child needs something different. The good news is you are the best person to help your kids learn and grow, and home is the best place to fall in love with books. This podcast has been downloaded 7,000,000 times in over 160 countries. So if you want to nurture warm relationships while also raising kids who love to read, you’re in good company. We’ll help your kids fall in love with books and we’ll help you fall in love with homeschooling. Let’s get started.
(00:59):
Well, hello my dears. I’m so happy to be back with you today. Happy 2022. It’s January. I don’t know, it feels very January to me. I’m not sure that’s really a compliment to the month of January, but I find jumping back into a routine after the holidays at the beginning of a new year, back into homeschooling, back into all that day-to-day laundry and meals and math. I don’t know, it’s really hard in January. I used to think there was something wrong with me.
(01:33):
Why was January so hard to get back into the homeschooling flow, but I’ve been around homeschoolers for a while now. And I just know it’s really normal. It’s a hard time. January’s a hard time to jump back into things. We’re all out of our routines. Our kids have been… Well, at least my kids have been eating too much sugar. Maybe I’ve been eating too much sugar. That’s why in this episode, before we launch into the rest of our new podcast season here at Read Aloud Revival, I’m going to share a little gift with you in this episode.
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Now, a couple things first. Yes, we’ve got a new season of the Read Aloud Revival for you and happy, happy it’s coming out every week this season. So you can look for a new episode to drop into your ears every Wednesday. Check back into wherever you subscribe to your favorite podcasts and make sure you’re subscribed to Read Aloud Revival so you don’t miss any of them.
(02:22):
Also, make sure you’re on our email list because email subscribers get a little heads-up and they also get all the best resources sent free to their inbox. So if you’re not on the email list, go to readaloudrevival.com/subscribe and get on there. You can also text to get on the email list. If you’re in the U.S., you just want to text the word books to the number 33777, and then it’ll ask where you want us to send your book list because we’ve got a book list of our favorite read alouds to send to you. Put in your email there and that’ll add you to the list. So you don’t miss any of our best free resources. If you’re not in the U.S., just go to readaloudrevival.com/subscribe.
(03:02):
What I’m sharing with you today is a snippet from Kara Anderson’s new book, More Than Enough: Grow Your Confidence, Banish Burn-Out, and Love Your Homeschool Life. Kara Anderson is our Managing Editor here at Read Aloud Revival. This book is a powerhouse. It’s a short powerhouse of a book that I think is going to help you ease into your homeschooling in 2022. You know, at Read Aloud Revival, our mission is to help your kids fall in love with books and to help you fall in love with homeschooling, right?
(03:32):
Today’s episode is all about that second part, about helping you fall in love with homeschooling. And I just want you to know that if you’re struggling to get back into the swing of things or to find any joy in what otherwise feel like bleak homeschooling days, it’s okay. You’re still cut out for this. No, there’s nothing wrong with you. And maybe, just maybe, doing something like listening to Kara’s book, More Than Enough, will give you a little bit of the encouragement and, I don’t know, oomph that you need to be able to get through these dark winter days.
(04:08):
So today as a gift to you we’ve got the preface and chapter one of Kara’s book More Than Enough. It’s a short episode so you can listen while you fold that last load of laundry or load up the dishwasher, maybe while you brush your teeth and get ready for bed, or maybe while you’re doing your hair and getting dressed at the beginning of the day. It’s a short powerhouse of an episode and I think you’re really going to be encouraged. And I hope it helps you ease, not jump, into homeschooling.
(04:34):
Let’s not jump into homeschooling 2022. Let’s just ease into it. Let’s ask ourselves, how can we make this as easy and as enjoyable as possible. My answer to that for you today is to listen to Kara’s soothing and encouraging voice lift you up because this work we do at home with our kids matters. So without further ado, I’ll turn it over to Kara.
Kara (05:19):
I’m a nervous mom, a worrier. In fact, I have clinical anxiety. I’ve also homeschooled my kids for more than 12 years, which is bananas because I never planned to homeschool at all. Like so many parents, we enrolled our oldest in a sweet little church preschool when he was three years old. It wasn’t a great fit. My precocious son got in trouble frequently, the way many active little boys do. His biggest infraction was that he didn’t want to sit on the line during story time. And I have to tell you all these years later, I’m so grateful.
(05:58):
If he had complied, we probably would’ve continued at that preschool for another year then enrolled my son in traditional kindergarten, followed by regular public school. And we would’ve spent the last 12 years apart all day. We would’ve most likely followed the same path with our daughter. And I know now that I would’ve missed so much. That doesn’t mean that homeschooling has always been easy. In fact, as you’ll read, I had a pretty major freak out a few months in and quit. I sent my son back to school sure that I was failing him. But then we went to kindergarten registration and I had an even bigger freak out.
(06:38):
I remember standing in that school building surrounded by lockers. My palms were sweating, my stomach hurt, and I wanted to grab my babies and run. I knew then that the traditional path wasn’t the one for us. Our early preschool experience had shown me as much, even though my kiddo was getting in trouble, it felt like it gift to see so clearly early on that my quirky, bright rambunctious boy would have to be crammed into a box in order to make school work. And so we tried again. And the second time homeschooling stuck.
(07:13):
If you’re listening to this book, I’m guessing that you’re either a homeschool parent or you’re considering homeschooling your kids, perhaps even researching homeschooling or a part of the homeschool world. And you’ve already heard a lot of competing voices telling you the very best way to homeschool. So this is what I want you to hear. There is no one right way to homeschool. In fact, that very worry is what drags so many of us down and makes us doubt ourselves. So let’s put that on a shelf somewhere, okay? Maybe recycle it or, can you compost worries? However you do it for now, I want you to let that particular concern go. I promise it doesn’t serve you at all. And just makes you feel like everyone else got some magical manual that you have yet to discover.
(08:01):
We’re also going to release the desire to homeschool perfectly because that’s a recipe for stress, burn-out, and desperate calls to the nearest public school. In 12+ years of homeschooling, I can’t think of one perfect day. But we’ve had a lot of great days. We’ve had fun days, days when we laughed together so much, and plenty of days spent cuddled on the couch just enjoying a good book. We’ve also had some real stinker days, weeks, and even a few months when things just weren’t working and it took time to unravel what was going on. So if you’re looking for that magical manual, the one that gives you step by step instructions and guarantees that you’ll never have a crummy homeschool day, this isn’t it.
(08:46):
I’m just a homeschool mom who wants you to know that you are probably doing better than you think you are. That applies even if you haven’t started homeschooling yet because raising little humans is tough work. So instead of getting this all caught up in the perfection trap, my goal with this book is to help you build your confidence and begin to trust yourself. Something led you to homeschooling. And I know it was not a mistake. Our homeschool whys might all be a little different but they are real and important. In the hardest moments it may be your why that keeps you from giving up, or at least giving up forever.
(09:26):
Now a heads-up, growing your confidence doesn’t mean you’ll never doubt yourself. I still doubt myself sometimes. Writing this book doesn’t mean that I never worry or that I think I have it all figured out. It just means that I’ve been willing to go all in. And I want you to go all in too, even though it’s scary. Homeschooling takes a lot of courage. These are high stakes. So we can’t fake our way through or get by just doing this halfway. But I will tell you this, I believe in us, all of us, I believe in the parents who choose this different path. And I think together we are building something wonderful.
(10:08):
I’m sure that the work we are doing each day is important, not just for our kids, but for future generations. I want you not just to endure these days with your kids. I want you and your family to thrive at home. I want you to enjoy your years together. I definitely want you to create sweet memories and form bonds that will last a lifetime, bonds that bring your grown children back home for the holidays, lugging their favorite board game and ready to binge watch your family’s favorite movies to together. My greatest hope is that this book helps you feel supported, understood, and more confident each day. Now let’s get started.
(11:14):
Chapter one, Stop Seeking Approval. I like to call us the early homeschool settlers. A generation ago homeschool pioneers dodged kindergarten registration or withdrew their kids from school and ordered books and instructional materials from black-and-white catalogs that were printed in garages. Those families were lucky to know other homeschooling families, even one. Maybe there was a family at church or someone down the street who inspired them, but maybe they were on their own. Those folks certainly weren’t looking for approval within the greater community. They were often just hoping not to be branded as crazy. Maybe they even wondered if they were a little crazy.
(11:58):
And now here we are a generation later with the internet and Amazon and a million online classes. And yet we’re still figuring out a lot about what homeschooling can be. We still have to be brave. So let’s stop for a minute and consider this. We are doing something relatively unproven. In recent years, while regarded colleges like Harvard have opened up to the idea of homeschoolers, and overall our culture has seen that kids can graduate from a life of learning at home and turn into normal functioning adults. But we’re still testing all the homeschool theories and there are still misconceptions and misunderstandings. How will your kids learn to socialize?
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So can we really expect general approval? Can we really think that your great uncle or the lady your husband works with is going to give homeschooling a thumbs up? Also, why do we even care? Of course we care what people think of our parenting and our kids. Even the most confident toughest parents out there are bothered a little if they feel like their kid is being judged. Their reaction may come out as anger instead of quiet hurt, but it’s just human nature to want to protect our young.
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For the rest of us, I’d say like 99%, of course it would feel better if people seemed generally supportive because here’s the thing, if we are invested enough to want to take on the full responsibility of our children’s education on our shoulders, of course we are going to want to do it well. None of us wants to mess this up. Some of us are haunted by that idea. It creeps up in the middle of night and sits on our chest like an elephant or small SUV. So it’s normal that people giving us side-eye for our life choices could be a little hard to take. You hear that? You’re normal. High five, shake it off.
(13:51):
So how do we move past seeking approval? Girl, it’s hard. It takes time. It takes gumption. It takes a cupcake every single time you’re able to brush off a stare or an awkward exchange. I find that turning 40 makes it easier. You stop seeking approval for other stuff and homeschooling becomes part of that. And time spent homeschooling helps too. You start to feel better because your kids are doing okay right in front of your face. They have not yet joined gangs or gone to live under a bridge. They’re six and eight, but whatever. If you’re a type-A driven mama, just whisper to yourself, “Prove them wrong.”
(14:29):
If you’re a sensitive hippie mama who can’t eat animals because they have faces and mothers, raises hand, this might be really, really hard. If you were raised a certain way to think that good girls don’t argue or make a fuss, raises hand again, this might be a real struggle for you. It’s hard to tell Aunt Diane to shove it. You don’t have to, dear one. You just have to realize that whatever Aunt Diane is saying is not about you. It’s about her own worries, her own background. Aunt Diane is wearing her Diane glasses and seeing everything through those lenses. Perhaps she’s projecting stuff.
(15:08):
Maybe she’s just worried. Maybe she’s worried about your kids getting good jobs or having the people skills to find a spouse. Maybe she’s worried about the toll on you. Or possibly she’s just an awful busy body. But one way to stop seeking approval is to stop acting like you need permission. The only requirements you need to meet are the legal ones. Check hslda.org to learn what is required in your state. Everything else is just opinions. And I’m going to tell you, Aunt Diane’s opinion doesn’t matter. Aunt Diane is not funding your homeschool. She’s not the one who is going to help your kids get into college or the Marines or cordon bleu or Rick celebrity YouTube university.
(15:55):
She isn’t the one staying up late to set up the science experiment. She isn’t the one waking early to make scrambled eggs because everyone has longer attention spans when they start the day with protein. So please let’s collectively stop worrying about people pleasing. As a recovering people pleaser, I know that trying to make everyone happy takes so much time and work, and that time and work could be much better spent learning with your kids, shopping for groceries, or trying to empty the ocean with a teacup because it’s hard to change opinions. It’s much easier to change your own mindset. So starting today we move on, sisters. Starting today we stop waiting for permission and we invest in the work instead.
Sarah (17:01):
Really good, right? I love Kara. And you know, I mentioned that Kara is our Managing Editor here at Read Aloud Revival. And one of the things that she and Kortney Garrison, who’s our Community Director, the three of us do these Circle Backs in RAR Premium. So every month we have something called Circle with Sarah. We’re talking about how to fall in love with our homeschooling life. Just really boots on the ground, really practical applications of the most important principles that will help us create the homeschools that we really want and that we really want for our kids, and do it in a way that’s easy and enjoyable.
(17:40):
I always like to say, it’s like Teaching from Rest live in community month after month. We’ll do a Circle with Sarah one month and I’m usually presenting a principle or an idea, and we’re talking about ways to sort of get that working for you in your homeschool. And the following month, Kortney and Kara and I are all on screen and you are in the chat. Our members are in the chat talking about where they’re getting stuck on the things that we talked about the previous month and sharing their wins and how putting that principle into action in their homeschool is making a difference in their homes. It’s so fun.
(18:15):
So if you love Kara’s work, you would love Circle with Sarah, because she’s hilarious and inspiring, and one of the most compassionate kind people I know. Anyway, if you want more of her book, you can get it in the show notes, readaloudrevival.com/194. Or you can just go to her website, which is Kara with the K KaraSAnderson.com. Let’s hear from the kids about the books that they’ve been loving lately.
Isabel (18:47):
Hi, I am Isabel from South Carolina and I like Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Gabriella (19:03):
Hi, my name is Gabriella. I’m age 12 and I live in Michigan. My favorite book was Sweep: The Story of a Girl and Her Monster by Jonathan Auxier. My favorite part was when she fell from the tower and her monster saved her. Bye.
Emily (19:18):
Hi, my name is Emily and I’m from Alpharetta, Georgia and I’m six years old and my favorite book is Little House on the Prairie book series.
Annabelle (19:26):
Hi, my name is Annabelle and I’m from Alpharetta, Georgia and I’m seven years and my favorite books are [inaudible 00:19:35] and Hope for Winter.
Gwen (19:37):
Hello, my name is Gwen. I am six years old. I live in Indiana and my favorite book is The Wild Robot by Peter Brown because it’s in nature.
Sarah (19:49):
Oh goodness. I love The Wild Robot. I love Little House on the Prairie and I love Sweep by Jonathan Auxier. And what was the other one? Oh, Hope in Winter. I don’t know that one. I’m going to have to go read it. Thank you for the recommendations, kids. Hey, if you want to get more of Kara’s book, More Than Enough: Grow Your Confidence, Banish Burn-Out, and Love Your Homeschool Life, get it in the show notes, readaloudrevival.com/194, or just go to Kara, with a K, SAnderson.com. I will be back in one week but in the meantime, you know what to do. Go make meaningful and lasting connections with your kids through books.
