Superstition, Trust, and Imperfect Prayer {thoughts on the St. Andrew Christmas Novena}
We’re about a week into the St. Andrew Christmas novena. How is it going? If you left me a comment or an email, I’ve been praying for you by name.
You know, I never pray the novena perfectly. Every year I miss days. I fall asleep. I forget. I’m human, after all, and so are you.
It’s easy to slip into superstitious thinking, but we are Christians- we are not superstitious people. Chanting a prayer fifteen times a day for four weeks does not unlock some secret power or cause God to change His will.
Prayer doesn’t change God at all. It changes us.
If God answers your fervent novena with a “no,” it is not because you missed a day or only prayed 10 prayers instead of the traditional 15.
It sounds silly when it’s written out like that, doesn’t it? But I think it’s a real temptation to think that if only we execute this holy act perfectly enough, then God will hear us.
But He hears us even when we botch the whole thing.
I get a lot of email around this time every year.
There are so many people out there begging for a miracle. Sometimes I think stories like mine can be painful for others.
There I was, three years ago, saying my first St. Andrew Christmas novena for just one more baby- one more chance to live an openness to life that I had failed to embrace whole-heartedly.
His answer to me was three babies in two years. If you have been faithfully praying the novena and God still whispers a steady “no” into your ear, stories like mine may just break your heart a little.
And I hate that.
We know that God works all things together for good (Romans 8), but that doesn’t make it easier to accept the very real and painful crosses that we carry in this life.
And I’m sure my words seem like clanging cymbals to a person who is begging God for a miracle and feels hopeless and desperate.
So I guess I just want to send out a hug, if that’s you.
I want to remind you that it isn’t about the number of times you pray the prayer, how well you focus, or whether or not you fall asleep midway through.
It’s about sitting at His manger. It’s about waiting on Him.
Our words do not spiral out into the void- they fall into the manger of a tiny holy babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
As we anticipate His birth, we pray this novena as a gift to the Holy Child.
He takes enormous pleasure in our desire to offer the prayer up, even if we say it wrong or start it late or forget to say it entirely.
Steeping ourselves in the Christmas novena helps us remember to trust that He is who He says He is.
When we quiet our hearts and our worries long enough to ponder the hour and moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold, we are made ready for the miracle of Christmas.
And Christmas is indeed a miracle.
For those unfamiliar with the tradition: the St. Andrew Christmas prayer is said fifteen times per day from November 30th, the Feast of St. Andrew, until Christmas Day. It isn’t really a novena in the traditional sense, and it’s not even aimed toward St. Andrew. It’s a meditation on the incarnation, and it is a powerful way to prepare one’s heart for the birth of Christ. It has also been called the Christmas Anticipation Prayer.
I’ve written about the novena several times. Here are my posts in order:
Why I love the St. Andrew Christmas Novena
With God’s Help, How Can We Fail?
Thank you so much for sharing your story and links. Even though the rest of the links did not work, the one with the St. Andrew Novena prayers did. YAY! I will be praying this for a miracle baby as well. :)
Sorry about the broken links, Mercedes. If you let me know which ones aren’t working, we’ll try to update them. Peace keep you,
I love novenas because they are those words whispered in faith and silence that we know will be answered in God’s language. My husband was a reward from a long past novena, as well as the two adopted children we have…God’s blessings abound especially at Christmas. Mary, Mobile, Alabama
“If you have been faithfully praying the novena and God still whispers a steady “no” into your ear, stories like mine may just break your heart a little.
And I hate that.”
Thank you for acknowledging this. After seeing (first hand) so many people getting their prayers answered and basically saying a big ‘peace out’ to all those still left behind (waiting and hurting), I can’t tell you how much that alone means.
This is a really beautiful post, even it is does indeed stir up a lot of sadness for me.
The last few years have been full of bitterness and anger towards God for me. I’m not proud to admit that. Some days I feel like I am coming out of it, and other days I worry I may just be numb.
As someone who only ever got ‘no’ as an answer, whilst watching him shower multiple blessings the same handful of people (things I have prayed for and never received obviously), I still struggle with feeling loved less by God. I honestly think I always will.
I’m going to tuck this post away. Maybe one day, when the hurt is long gone, I’ll come back to it with a different heart and mind.
Regardless, thank you for sharing it.
Have you seen the book “Come Be My Light” about Mother Teresa? It’s balm to wounded heart that feels alone and unheard by God. I’ll be praying for you. xoxo.
I would like to meet a loving man that I can love.
That is my request for the Christmas prayer. It has been too long without love and passion.
Please pray for the conversion of my husband and my friend who is married to my cousin. Thank you for telling us about the novena. She and I are praying it. We want our husbands to be on fire with the love of Jesus. My husband is luke warm and not catholic. My cousin is turning against God and his Catholic faith in anger. His wife is suffering a lot.
Thank you!
Beautifully said. My niece is praying this novena and she isn’t even a Catholic! But we are also praying it for her, but only once a day together as a family by our advent candle. I knew there was no way I could get my family together 15 times a day and the family wanted to do it for her together. I figured ten people praying it once a day was as good. :)
Beautiful! Thank you so much for the reminder and prayers…praying for you too! =)
I wish I could recreate the comment I posted yesterday. I wrote about how I kept thinking about commenting on your previous novena post but never could find the words. I am so very content and overwhelmingly happy with my one, but sad I have so little choice in the matter. I hardly know how to hope anymore. It feels much more like a wish, separated from any kind of expectant waiting. I remind myself, gratefully, how long I asked for just one. And my heart is with the ones who are still waiting for that miracle to happen.
I think of you often and pray, pray, pray. I can’t imagine the depth of your longing, L. My heart breaks to think of it.
So I just dropped by randomly (I have you bookmarked, but honestly I haven’t been checking many blogs lately b/c life is crazy and when I actually have time on the internet it’s b/c I’m paying a bill or looking for something like a recipe, etc…..but anyway, I need to sign up to get your posts in my email b/c WOW, did this post (and the three previous) just make me feel so much better! I am a lousy novena pray-er (and I always start them days late, miss days, miss reps, etc.) and here’s the kicker–I’m not even sure what I’m really asking for! I figure God knows what I need but it sort of drives me crazy that I can’t even just pick one particular intention to focus on. Then your post about not being a homeschool superstar mom (definitely not winning any awards here!) not only made me feel better but made me feel happy that we are the kind of homeschooling family we are…..then the pictures of your floors, the art room, etc……these could be my home, on a good day! And thank you too for letting me know there is a new book out by Nancy Belanger–my daughter LOVES the Olivia books and in fact was just re-reading one (for the 3rd time?)….I think I just figured out a Christmas gift :) So…thank you, thank you, thank you….and I’m signing up for the feed :)
Hooray! :)
This post was such a blessing. It skipped my inbox somehow and I came to your site because I am adding blogs to bloglovin and needed the url. I love when God works “in plain sight”. I missed praying the novena yesterday and completely cried over it today. It’s a bit of an emotional day. I would have been 35 weeks pregnant today with so few weeks to go. But, God mysteriously led me to your post and what you say is so true. This isn’t superstition and if God says no about having another baby, it won’t be because I forgot a day of prayer!
Praying and praying and praying for you.
I think your blog eats my comments every time. :( Did you see a comment from me yesterday? -Lindsay
Grrr. No! I didn’t. Why does it do that?? So frustrating.
I guess I’m only allowed to be anonymous! I tried again as my google self and it reloaded my whole page, made me re-enter my password…. Oh forget it! haha.
SO… when are you switching to WordPress??? Seriously it’s time. :D
I can’t hear you lalalalalala! ;)
Actually, I’d love to move but would have to shell out too much $$ to make it happen, I think.
haha! I really like it, you may find it easier than you expect. I use WP for my freelance editing business site, http://www.lindsaygann.com.
Nice site! I didn’t know you were doing that. :) Very cool.
Thankyou for being sensitive to the feelings of others and for voicing that so tenderly.
I understand that the fruit of prayer can be painful for those who are still waiting, but we need to be helped along the difficult path by seeing that God does indeed answer in his own good time and perfectly for each of us. Please pray for my family and marriage which is in crisis, I continue to pray for you and your family, love to all.
I missed the beginning of the Novena this year but I really feel like I will be needing it in the new year.
Thanks! I didn’t feel the strength to pray this novena this year, after 4 years of infertility and no children, but you speak the truth and I am so grateful!
Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling with the wait for our first baby, and your comments help to remind me of the WHY I’m praying and not the WHAT FOR. If I could ask you to pray for us, my name is Alicia, and my husband and I hope to welcome children into our home this next church year. Bless you this advent, as we wait for our Lord.
You got it, Alicia. Praying for you.
I could not have said it better myself. We too have prayed the novena for a few years, hoping for another baby, and God’s answer has been “no” or possibly “not yet” which is hard to accept. HOWEVER, over time my heart has softened. God does know what is best! Now, as the months come and go with no sign of a bundle of joy, I can truly say “amen,” and know that all is as it should be in this moment. Thy will be done, LORD, and thank You for the peace of heart…..which is truly the answer to my prayer :)
Well said Sarah. Thank you.
So great. Just so so great in so many ways. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you!!! Once again your post has blessed me. Your words are spirit filled. This is my first time praying this novena. I pray to be able to have another child. Like you…one more chance to live an openness to life! Thank you for your prayers. I am wearing my beautiful novena bracelet I won ! God bless you.
Sharon F.
Such a sweet post Sarah. We all need to hear every once in a while the basics of prayer don’t you think. We try so hard. And that’s the problem, we try. He is such a loving and faithful Father and we need to rest in Him more often. Your sensitivity to others and their pain is a sweet and lovely disposition we all have gotten to know from you.
Dear, Dear Sarah,
You are such a joy and such a blessing! Your inspired writing, your beautiful photos, and sharing your beautiful, lovely, loving family (must always put in a bid for more pics of children! :). Do not fret about your happy stories being painful or bitter for the people are who are at a different bend in life’s road. While the stories may be difficult to read at a moment in time, it is SO, SO important to have tangible evidence that is worthwhile and the encouragement to KEEP the faith. Good news is invaluable in this day and age. Also, I would say that anyone who reads your blog faithfully sees your true and loving heart as it shines here daily. Hugs back to YOU! Blessings, Sheryl in PO
This was beautiful Sarah, and your words really touched my heart this morning. Your story is inspiring to me; I’ve had a hard time praying for another baby, even though it is what I want more than anything, because I know that the only reason we can’t have a baby right now is because of a medical procedure I pushed my husband into, that we now both regret. I guess what I need to pray for, before I can even start to pray for a baby, is the faith to trust in His forgiveness. Thank you for writing this, and if you could add me to your list, I’d love it.
My story is more similar to yours than you know, Dawn. Gonna try to send you an email later today.
xo
I really needed to hear this. Thank you for your beautiful post!
Thank you for the reminder and for your prayers. I am praying, too. :)
Sarah,
I’m so glad other people miss days! This is my 1st year doing this novena, and it was you that inspired me. My son’s name is Andrew, and I’ve never even heard about it before!! Anyway, so far, so good, but I just know I’m going to forget one day, but as my Mom used to tell us when we would fall asleep praying the Rosary “your Guardian angel finishes it for you!”
That was a beautiful post, Sarah.
“But I think it’s a real temptation to think that if only we execute this holy act perfectly enough, then God will hear us.”
I am so guilty of this — is that the ol’ Catholic guilt or is that ol’ Hairy Legs?
I’m praying my novena along with you, but now that I have young adult, teenage, and pre-teen children, my prayers sure have changed. I would love for you to remember my intentions, sweet Sarah.
Both, I think!
And you got it- I’m praying for your intentions.
Thank you.
Thank you for this…
Thank you for putting my mind at ease…
Your thoughts are expressed beautifully through your written words. : )
After 11 yrs. of infertility- praying, hoping, crying, trying hard not to grow bitter- weary, trying to form my will to His, novena after novena, etc.,etc. God blessed us with a baby son. But along the way we had our first child, also a son, by adoption at 5yrs. Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing- God truly knows what is best. I would encourage all those struggling with infertility, especially at Advent/Christmas- which can be double hard, to look to St. Joseph as a guide and model. The gift of adoption in our family was/is such a miracle- it had its own ‘labor pains’ and ‘bumps’, but I thank God for my first born son- even if he was first born to another- what a gift! I encourage you to ask God how he wants you to grow your family- openness to life in any way He might gift it to you. I will be praying for all those who wait for a child to grow in their womb or in their heart this Christmas. God’s blessing and united prayers- Rachel
This is beautiful, Sarah, and so so true. I love reading your posts about this!
I’d like to add my own story and encouragement if you don’t mind… You said keep praying if you’re tired, start late, forget days, etc. I would also say, *absolutely* keep praying if you are that person feeling desperate and hopeless. God hears your prayers even if you aren’t “feeling it.” We have prayed so so many novenas throughout the past 2 years. Each time I thought “Maybe *now* we’ll get pregnant.” During our *third* 54-day Rosary novena in 2 years, I was getting weary… I felt like such a hypocrite praying the words “I despair not of what I ask of thee,” because I really was starting to despair. Then on day 36 or so, we got a positive pregnancy test (baby is due May 30).
Querida Sarah! Se você não se importa, vou escrever em português… Tenho pedido a Deus um milagre através dessa novena, mas sobretudo que a vontade DEle seja feita. Peço pela proteção de meus filhos, já te falei através de que graça (por e-mail) e sigo confiante. Conheci a novena através de seu testemunho e tenho confiança de que a Graça, seja da forma que for, será alcançada.
Sarah, encontrei muito pouco sobre a novena nos sites brasileiros e gostaria de perguntar: ela deve ser recitada durante o dia todo ou pode ser recitada como “uma dezena de terço” (porém quinze contas) em um único momento durante o dia?
Você não imagina quanta graça tenho encontrado nos acessos ao seu blog! Agradeço suas partilhas!
Sigamos confiantes e unidas em oração!
Um grande abraço
Milene
Such a beautiful reminder, Sarah. Thank you so much.
Amen! Such grace! Thank you :) May it be received and hearts opened Lord. It is all about Jesus and not about works.
Have a beautiful day!
Janet